Rockin C: August 2010

Tuesday, August 31

Kowboy Kutter

This little cowboy was sooo much fun to play with.

He was a total mess! - Nothing new in these here parts :)

Just look at this cowboys big blue eyes – Aren’t they just so sweet?!

Monday, August 30

A little about ME!

First thought in the morning:

“PLEASE don’t wake the baby . . . Lord, give me a gentle heart today.”

Last thought at night:

“Just GO TO BED!”

First Job:

“Babysitting. I was the most wanted babysitter!”

Other jobs:

“Hostess, waitress, tanning salon, telemarketer, birth certificate registrar, hospital coding.”

Miss about being a kid:

“My dolls.”

Favorite phrase:

“Oh my goodness.”

Person who had the greatest impact on my life:

“My kids.”

When I get to heaven what is God going to say to me?

“You got some explainin’ to do!”

What would surprise someone about me?

“I would not let anyone come to my wedding.”

Do you have any questions you’d like to ask me?

Sunday, August 29

CC: The Ultimate Disciplinarian

God perfectly balances the tasks of loving His children unconditionally and teaching them the consequences of sin. During this part of our Creative Corrections study, I loved how Lisa argues,

“Many of today’s ‘experts’ argue that discipline is controlling & it prevents kids from fully expressing themselves as individuals. To that I say, ‘Hallelujah!’ -I’ve seen my child fully expressing himself, & it’s NOT a pretty sight!”

When Lisa suggested that TRUST is the heart of obedience, I had a huge epiphany. Looking back at our most difficult times when we were struggling with Taylor, I suddenly realized the disobedience was lacking because there was no trust. Taylor had experienced a sense of abandonment from her mom when she came to live with us & none of us realized it. Regardless of the fact that she was in a more stable environment, she still lost a sense of trust somewhere along the way. Circumstances following her move with us definitely contributed to the lack of trust as well. We had to slowly build our trust with Taylor & convince her that we loved her unconditionally. She had to trust us that when we required her to do something or set boundaries she didn’t understand & she disobeyed them we were disciplining her out of love. Instantly, the song, “Trust & Obey” comes to mind. <3

It was very difficult for me to realize that love doesn’t mean never making our children unhappy. I had this false idea that my child’s happiness was dependent upon my parenting. When she was unhappy, I felt like I was failing. In reality, sometimes when our children are unhappy it merely because we are doing what is best for them – even when that requires unpleasant consequences.

Saturday, August 28

CC: The Ultimate Parent

*For the past 5 weeks I have been leading a Creative Corrections Bible Study with a group of wonderful women from our homeschool co-op that I am lucky enough to call friends. In the upcoming weeks I will be sharing the lesson’s I have learned in finding “Creative Corrections” for my Outlaws (kids).

**Click HERE to read my first post of this series, “Creative Corrections: Introduction”

During the first week of the Creative Corrections Bible Study Lisa urges parents to establish the Bible as the FINAL word in their home. This sounds so easy, but if you are a control freak like me, it may be a little challenging to implement. Don’t get me wrong, we all want our kids to learn to obey God & use the Bible as their standard & not the world. But in the actual day-to-day parenting tasks, it isn’t always easy for me to do. I can’t tell you how many times I have ~~said~~ yelled, “Because I said so!!!” But it isn’t really because “I” said so, it is because God said so – I just forget to mention that part in the heat of the moment sometimes. I love Lisa’s quote to her kids,

“Honey, I didn’t make up these rules. God did & He says this makes life work. Because I believe Him & I love you & want you to be successful, I am going to enforce what He says in our home.”

Yeah. Argue with that!

Lisa also reminds us, as parents, we are modeling God to our children. Mirror, Mirror, on the wall … What would you like to see when you look at your reflection? As for me, I love the image of my kids waking to find me spending alone time with God. I have really been working on this & this week my heart jumped for joy when Trevor said, “Mommy, when you are done with your Bible study . . .” Instead of, “ . . . when you are done with the computer . . .” I want my children to see me as a Godly mama/wife/friend/woman. Our goals as mothers is to be a clear reflection of God. How are you reflecting God to your children?

This reminds me of a song by a good friend of mine, Lisa Lovejoy & her sister (2 Mom’s & Loving It),

“Mirror of Your Heart”

Her chubby hands somehow they look like mine,

Those big blue eyes are like her dad’s.

That pudgy nose is it mine or his?

How can one person look like two?

This miracle sent from God above

She’s so much more than I dreamed of.

She looks like us, does what we do,

Make our hearts look just like You.

A reflection of you heart that’s the most important part.

Now how they look, How tall they stand

As they grow and learn each day guide them gently to Your way

To be a mirror of Your heart.

I don’t know about you, but at times the fact that I am responsible for reflecting an image of God to my kids is totally overwhelming. But like Lisa points out, “we are models to our children whether we like it or not.” Besides, it is a huge comfort to know that God is the PERFECT PARENT & his children still disobey!

In order for us to give an image of God to our kids, we must keep our focus on Him! Our motives in parenting cannot be about us, but have to be established on His word. I have realized that much of my parenting is due to my own peace & quiet. My desire to have well-behaved kids is not for some higher godly purpose, but to make my life simpler. As a result, I am often quick to discipline them (sometimes in anger) when my comfort zone is intruded on. I don’t always consider how I’m modeling God to them.

During the first week of our study we read Mark 7:20-23 – Jesus explains that defilement comes from an impure heart, not the violation of external rules. This was very convicting for me because I often get caught up in the “rules” & I become a tyrant. I have to be reminded that not everything needs a consequence. Sometimes, LIFE will provide a big enough consequence. I truly believe that natural consequences can teach the biggest lessons. Jesus is more concerned with our children’s hearts than he is about how well-behaved they are.

My ultimate goal is not to have well-behaved kids. It is to have God-loving & God-fearing children. I have really had to reevaluate my parenting motives. Lisa explains, “If we parent with wrong motives, we will ultimately fall apart & loose it.” If you are like me & “loose it” more often than you’d like to admit – then we need to realize it is a tell-tell sign that our motives might not be pure.

Friday, August 27

Creative Corrections: Introduction

For the past 5 weeks I have been leading a Creative Corrections Bible Study with a group of wonderful women from our homeschool co-op that I am lucky enough to call friends. It has been difficult to juggle this study, construction in around our house, a growing photography business, being a wife & mommy, & blogging. I intended to share my notes on my blog throughout the study, but I’m just now getting around to it :)

I have read A LOT of parenting books! I have enjoyed many of them & learned a few things from several, but Lisa Whelchel’s book, Creative Corrections, is my all time favorite. Perhaps it is because she is not only a devout Christian, but also a homeschool mom who can relate to having to correct children all.day.long. She even has her own Tucker! If there is one word that I could use to describe myself right now it would be IMPERFECT. Totally an IMPERFECT mess! So, when I read this in the introduction, I knew God was at work:

“I did not write the Creative Corrections trade book or this subsequent Bible study from a point of view that I’m perfect as much as from a perspective of imperfection. I understand the frustration of saying the same things over & over again, wondering if my kids are ever going to “get it.” I’ve experienced disappointment when I’ve “lost it” in anger, and I’ve enjoyed the astonishment of realizing that amazingly God can and will use me to shape my precious children into His image.”

Her introduction also gives a wonderful glimpse of the study’s goal:

“ . . . we’ll discover that creative alternatives not only serve as effective ways to correct our children but also allow us to teach them in the process….what God is wanting to teach us, as well as what He wants us to teach our children.”

Whether you have good kids, bad kids, or outlaws, I highly recommend adding this ~~book~~ toolbox to your personal library. Grab your favorite highlighter while you’re at it!

During our first meeting we each shared something about ourselves that had nothing to do with our children. Although our group ranges from mothers with very young children to some with a few grown children, & from mother of many (6+) to mothers with just a couple kids, this activity was surprisingly difficult for us. What is something about you that has NOTHING to do with your kids? This is my blog, so if you know me or read it often you know I love to scrapbook, take as many pictures as I can, & blog about all of it & some.

Once we accomplished finding a little of our own identity, we add the kids to the mix. We color coded our kids. Here are my kids “in color”:

Tyler

“Mommy’s boy”

-My first born, most like me, sweet, caring, “Big Brother”, starting to identify more with daddy, funny, very hard worker!

Tucker

- My nature boy, loving, gorgeous, stubborn, loves to draw, mischievous & sneaky, very silly.

TrEvOr

-My sweetest, but meanest, “HOT” tempered, CrAzY, very smart, cute as a bug, sweet little laugh, most like daddy.

truman

“The Baby”

- So sweet & a total snuggler, very demanding, loves to be a brother, just not sure about this boy yet . . .

Taylor

“Daddy’s Girl”

-Care-taker, struggles the most, loving, needy, miss attitude, deceiving, ditzy, helpful, “little mama”.

Tiya

-Strong, distant, athletic, misunderstood, “all about me” attitude, funny, daring

Talon

What would you “color” your children?

Finally, we shared an embarrassing moment our children blessed us with. I shared a Walmart story. I took all the kids (as usual) grocery shopping & we had just reached the final stretch of the trip: The Checkout Line!! As we get behind a middle-aged couple they remark at “how full my hands are.” (GRRR!!) With a big smile on my face, I kindly assure them of how full my heart is as well. I proceed to assure them of how good my kids are only to turn & find Tucker & Trevor in a drop-dead drag-out boxing match. I don’t mean a few swats at each other. I mean, fists are swing, they are flying back into the shelves & knocking things down! It is seriously a UFC match in the middle of the Walmart Checkout line. Ohmygoodness! I was so embarrassed.

Have your kids embarrassed you lately?

Middle School

Could she really be old enough for middle school?

Last time I looked I saw this little girl:

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I blinked & now I look into the eyes of this young lady:

This week was Daddy’s Girls first week of “Middle School”

(I grew up in California & we called it “Jr. High”)

Next thing I know I’ll be looking up at a high schooler. YIKES!

Thursday, August 26

Home-business

I love organization, planning, & scheduling!

I need a game plan. I’ve made some darn good schedules in my motherhood/homeschooling journey!

The thing is, my kids (& husband) don’t always follow my perfect little schedule. They all have plans of their own. You know, like “honey, I need your help out here.” (in the middle of a math lesson) or “Mom, the goats are in the watermelon patch.” or “mom, did you know Truman was playing in the potty?” Then there are the lovely moments where I have to veer off my plans to deal with character issues ALL.DAY.LONG!

…. Over the years, I have learned that I have to kinda go with the flow of things. But a plan on paper just looks so pretty, so I still make one. Making a schedule is easy as pie. Stickin’ to it is a whole other story! A couple of months ago I listened to a good friend of mine speak to a group of homeschool mom’s about organizing their lives. She described a Homeschool as a buisness. Yes, a family buisness!

“Homeschool is a business – all successful businesses need STRUCTURE”

I have learned that keeping things simple is a little easier when trying to establish structure with a house full.

When making my schedule or “structuring” our school days for this year, I realized I needed to PRIORITIZE!

God.
My family (husband & kids)
Myself
Our homeschool
Our family & friends

I had to ask myself where everything I was doing all day fell among this list. Then I was reminded that if we expect our children to take school seriously, then we must as well.

What am I at home? What are you at home?

Each school year brings a different season of life, & each season brings new priorities & schedules. After experiencing some major struggles with Taylor, last year my goal was to bring the fun back into our school days. I wanted to do all the things homeschoolers can do because they are homeschoolers. Mission accomplished! We went on several field trips & made wonderful memories together. This year, my goal is to become slightly more consistent & academic focused. More than anything though, I must make teaching my kids God’s word a huge priority – & I don’t mean just by doing Bible studies & memorizing scripture.

At this same time in LIFE, I believe the Lord is opening a door in photography for me. I’ve become almost overwhelmingly blessed with lots of photoshoots, but with this opportunity also demands even more of a necessity for prioritizing. My God, My family, Myself, & My homeschool all come BEFORE this “work”. So, as I pray about all this God keeps whispering one word in my heart - “BOUNDARIES!” Okay, yes, He has to scream it at me, but you get the point.

Yes, I need more boundaries for ME – NOT my kids! I need to make sure I am starting each day with God not my e-mail or blog reader. So, boundary #1: God FIRST! I’m kinda an over achiever, but I’m realizing that this time doesn’t always have to consist of an hour long deep Bible study. This time can be quick & simple, it can be just a little chat with my Father, or it can be a heartfelt prayer. I trust the Lord will allow the time for me to take advantage of this priority, if I really make it one.

Boundary #2 – No computer. My blog will feel this & although it is a great release for me, by kids will also feel this. Don’t get me wrong – I’m not banning myself from the computer entirely, just during “school hours” or times when I should be “Living today” and not blogging about yesterday or planning for tomorrow. Basically, I am allotting an hour a day to blog, work on pictures, & make phone calls. I may sneak more time in while the kids are in bed though. Which leads me to #3 . . .

Boundary #3 – Bedtime. For my kids & myself. I am a night owl. Not always, but there have been times I stay up late into the wee hours of the next morning. Which in-turn whether I want to admit it or not, also pours over onto my family the next day.

Boundary #4 – Only “work” part-time. I truly feel the photography thing is a God thing. I haven’t taken a photo class in my life, I don’t have any fancy editing program, & honestly I have a nice camera, but I haven’t even read the manual or watched the start-up video. :) I tend to be a little OCD & when I have a project going it is hard to walk away from it. Ex. editing pictures! I have to set some boundaries for this. I will not be “working” on pictures just like I won’t be blogging or surfing the internet during times of the day that I should be LIVING. I also will not be available for photoshoots every day of the week. I’ll spare you the details, but for the most part I will work on pix a couple nights a week when everyone is in bed & only do shoots a couple days a week.

All that to say, “Here is my pretty little schedule:”

I am sooo not the morning mama, but I realize I kinda need to be. So, I’m “planning” on getting up & dressed (yes, Big Daddy, I am going to try to actually get dressed each day!!) by 7:30 in the morning. I’ll spend my time with God first thing.

I plan on draggin’ my outlaws outta bed by 8ish & we will eat, dress, & make beds then head over to the schoolbarn hopefully by 9am

Our morning work will be:

Pray, Memory Work, Calendar time together for about 15 min.

Then Tyler will do his Winter Promise (WP) Bible work & I’ll do Bible with the Mustangs (also WP)

Next Tyler will work on his math while I do language arts with the Mustangs.

While I go over Sequential Spelling with Tyler, the Mustangs will be at a center, then I will do a short spelling lesson/activity with them while Tyler gets started on his LA.

The Mustangs will work on their workboxes or centers while I spend some time reading with Tyler. Once reading is done we will break for LUNCH!

Lunch will be an hour. At least during the fall it will be. My boys need plenty of outside time, so I’m sure the food consumption will take about 5 minutes & the play time will be about 55 minutes :) After lunch I will lay my Lil’ Buckaroo down for a nap (about 12:30ish).

After lunch I will spend about an hour with Tyler working on his WP History & Science while my Mustangs work on math & K/1 skills independently. Then I’ll switch & Tyler will finish his WP independent work while I work on the Mustangs WP work.

My goal is to finish school by 3:30. From 3:30-4ish we’ll pick up & I’ll work on a little planning for the following day. My kids will be free from 3:30-6:30. During the fall this means outside time: 4-wheelers, nature walks, frog catchin’, goat chasin’, cowboys & Indians time. During the winter, this time needs to be scheduled with more detail for them, but I’m not ready to even imagine cold weather yet.

While the kids are outside I will take an hour to myself to unwind & blog or work on pictures or return phone calls – This will be my “desk work” time (while Truman hopefully takes another short nap).

I hate to admit it, but I am horrible about having dinner ready at a reasonable time. Big Daddy doesn’t get home until 8pm & we have gotten in a terrible habit of waiting for him. So, I am really going to make dinner by 6:30 a priority.

The kids will clean their rooms & take baths around 7:30 & then we will all meet in my bedroom at 8 for our Answers for Kids Bible Study. At 8:30 ALL kids better be in bed!! I’ll usually let them listen to an audio book or music & lights go out completely at 9.

Once we get started I’ll share how things really go :)

Wednesday, August 25

6

Six is always hard for me . . .

There are no 6T clothes.

john316 270

6 is so “official”. 6 is a big boy.

And my sweet gorgeous

little mischievous mustang

is officially a big boy.

Tucker is 6!!!

Tucker,

You will never know how truly special you are to us. You are the baby we thought we would never know. You are the child that God used to let me know He still heard my prayers. Tucker, you were our answered prayer. Watching you grow into a “big boy” the past 6 years has been such a blessing. You are so sweet. I love your kiss & that “look” you give me when you want mommy time. I love seeing you strive to be like your big brother. It is wonderful watching you & Trevor play like best buddies. And I love seeing you be a big brother with Truman. You are so sweet with him – can you be that gentle with your other brothers? Your smile brightens my day sweet boy. I cannot imagine life without you & I am so thankful I get to be your mommy.

Happy Birthday Tucker Boy!! I Love You to the moon & back!!