A little about ME!

 

   

First thought in the morning: 

“PLEASE don’t wake the baby . . . Lord, give me a gentle heart today.”

Last thought at night: 

“Just GO TO BED!”

First Job: 

“Babysitting.  I was the most wanted babysitter!”

Other jobs: 

“Hostess, waitress, tanning salon, telemarketer, birth certificate registrar, hospital coding.”

Miss about being a kid: 

“My dolls.”

Favorite phrase: 

“Oh my goodness.”

Person who had the greatest impact on my life: 

“My kids.”

When I get to heaven what is God going to say to me?  

“You got some explainin’ to do!”

What would surprise someone about me? 

“I would not let anyone come to my wedding.”

 

Do you have any questions you’d like to ask me?

Not Me! Monday

 

I certainly did NOT cut 6 inches off my long beautiful hair. 

Not Me!

And I would NEVER get blond AND red highlights – AT THE SAME TIME!  Not Me!  That’s way too wild & daring for me.  After all I’m a HOMESCHOOL mommy.  I’m supposed to look totally plain & natural – NOT ME!

 What do you think?

Not Me! Monday – Only In The Country!!

You will NEVER believe what climbed down our chimney!

Do you see it?

How ‘bout now?

What does a city girl momma do when a squirrel climbs down her chimney & runs around her living room?

Well she definitely does NOT let her 3 COUNTRY boys shoot it with their bb guns! 

And she would never chase it around her living room screaming like a girl & almost crying like a baby each time it found a new hiding spot.  Not Me!

 

I mean if I had a squirrel in my house, not that I did or anything – I mean WHO has a squirrel in their living room? I would be totally cool about it.  I would never leave the dirty work to my brave fearless boys.  Not Me!

And I wouldn’t bother my hard workin’ man at work with such a matter, begging him to come home.  Not Me!

Or try to bribe his best friend to come over & chase it around.  Nope, Not Me!

But I’m just saying if any of you have a squirrel in your living room, it probably has a nest of babies in a nearby tree . . . just sayin’  Maybe about 6!!  Not that I saw 6 babies go in a whole in the tree right outside my kitchen window or anything – Not Me!  And not that we had a blast watching them run all around their gymnasium tree. 

But if just by chance, something like this did happen, it would ONLY BE IN THE COUNTRY!!

Not Me Monday

I’m not sure who, but it wasn’t me that left my 3 year old asleep in the kitchen floor for fear of waking him & him wanting in MY bed – Not Me!

I did not make tea with salt water I was originally boiling to use for hard boiled eggs.  And no, this did not lead Big Daddy to ponder the idea of me trying to poison him after a big fight we had just had.  After all – we NEVER have disagreements.  We live in a totally happy all the time, modern day Brady Bunch.

I am such a cool mom, I would NEVER threaten to show up in my PJ’s at my daughter’s school with her toothbrush & toothpaste if she forgets to brush her teeth one more time!!!!!!!  Not Me!  I don’t ever resort to public humiliation as an alternative to discipline. 

I certainly did not threaten or use my children as a bargaining tool against my own mother over a vacuum (a Dyson! at that).  Not Me! 

It definitely was not me that left home without a wallet, drove 45 miles away, racked up a tab at IHOP only to discover I couldn’t pay for that.  Not Me!  And I would never call some one a bad name b/c they wouldn’t take a check.  Not Me!

Encourage my child to jump over a HUGE mud puddle?  Who Me?  No, Not Me!

Drive thru an even HUGER mud puddle with my son hanging off the side of the car for fun?  Nope, Not Me.

Allow my kids to play in the HUGER mud puddle, until they looked like part of the mud puddle?  Wrong again, Not Me.

Pretend one of my kids weren’t mine when they were misbehaving at the pumpkin patch?  Never!

I did not try to talk my husband into buying a commercial bounce house b/c the zipper is on the outside?  Tempting, very tempting, but Not Me!

I would NEVER EVER make my boys wear lipstick either.  Not Me!!

Not My child BoYs!

Welcome to Not Me My Child! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what her children and everyone elses have not been doing this week.

Piggy Banks = 2 broken by 2 different bandits all in the same week = Not My Boys!

We are a Christian homeschool family & are raising our sons to save themselves for their wives - we aren't raising hoochie boys - So this week at VBS my son did NOT kiss a girl on the cheek & ask her to marry him. Not My Son!

Nor would one of my boys have a show down with a little girl . . . Not my boys!

And my sweet blue eyed boy did NOT flirt with our 20 something waitress the other day. Not my boy!!

My boys are so sweet & think their momma is the most beautiful mommy in the world (sorry ladies) so no, one of them certainly did NOT ask me if I was still going to have another baby! And another did NOT reply, "No mommy is just fat!"

No, my Mustangs did NOT decide for me after 8 straight weeks that the baby needed a binki. And they would never give a newborn baby an old 3 sizes too big binki they had stashed somewhere. Not My Boys!

My boys did NOT go in their room & dump every IKEA bin they have full of toys out on the floor only days after we had a "come to Jesus" meeting about only getting 1!!! bin out at a time. Not My Angels. They always do what they are told the first time!

No, we haven't had any blood spills here lately -- One of them did NOT come running up from their tree house with blood spilling out of their mouth & a new loose front tooth about a year too yearly. Not here! Not My Boys!

My boys are lovers NOT fighters, so nope, it was NOT my son that was in the middle of a dog pile with his buddies having a drop down drag out fight in my front yard all over watermelon seeds . . . NOT MY BOYS! And his little brother would never run in the house & tell me he was going to kick another little boys a... hiney because he was hurting his big brother. (All while walking out with a b-b gun in his hands. Not My Boys!!

My boys are NOT dare devils at all. The little one would never say, "Look Daddy, I can fly." And almost jump off our 2nd story not completed barn. Not my Boy! Never . . .
Big Daddy did NOT over hear the same boy tell his brother, "I'm going to die . . ." as he attempted to jump off his tree house. Absolutely NOT my reserved son!

My boys are so smart . . . they know better than to chase after a wild hog - that is totally dangerous - they would NEVER do something crazy like that!

My Momma's Boy is just that - his Mommy's boy - So he would never sell me out to his dad & say, "Guess how much money mommy spent . . ." Not my Momma's Boy!

I would NEVER over hear the words, "food fight" in my kitchen. Not from MY KIDS!! And there definitely was NOT a food fight shortly after hearing it either! Not My BOYS!!!

My son did Not put a frog on my head or catch grasshoppers & keep them in an old strawberry container (very creative huh?), & then pinch their heads off when they try to escape through the holes. Not my child!

My children always follow the rules & are very obedient. I would NEVER hear one of my boys crying because his brother hit him & when I tell him to go to time out he would not reply, "I am already here!" Time out? Not My Child!

Although God blessed me with very creative children, they would NEVER use their gum to string across the door way as a blockade. Not my Child!

And No, none of this happened while I was typing this . . .
Gotta go . . . my baby did NOT just spit up ALL OVER me! Not my baby boy!!!

Happy Monday!!

P.S. MckMamma, I did NOT almost fall out of my chair when I saw YOU visited my blog 20 hours ago!!! Not Me!!

Not Me! Monday!

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.



I completely missed Not Me Monday last week & I want you to know it did NOT have anything to do with the fact that I am totally in love with my TrueMan! So, I have 2 weeks worth of things I did NOT do . . .

First of all, I did not call my mom at 5 a.m. to ask her what I should do b/c I was having contractions every 5 minutes for over an hour on my 5th pregnancy. (& just so you know, she did not laugh out of frustration & tell me to call my doctor NOT my mom!)

I did not stay up late 2 nights before my induction cleaning our house from top to bottom. & I really did not go as far as scrubbing our doors. Not Me!

We all know I am such a, "fly by the seat of my pants kinda girl that hardly ever gets upset about anything," well enough to know that I did not have a nervous break down & cry hysterically when Big Daddy took all the Outlaws on a 4 wheeler ride at 8 p.m. the night before my induction & brought them ALL back cover in mud from head to toe - LITERALLY! (Can you believe he really did NOT see how selfish & inconsiderate that was. He did not call me a "fun-sucker" either.) I did not consider running away to a hotel & having a baby without him either. Not me! That thought never crossed my mind.

I did not try to accommodate a Little League baseball game while in the middle of labor.

I really did NOT go to the hospital nursery to get my baby & ask for the wrong kid! Not Me!

I did not schedule my newborn's check up with my 3 year old's annual check up - which included a shot & blood draw for allergies (the nurses did not miss the vein the first time either) 4 days post-partum. I did not have to help pin my child down & I did not cry like a baby when I had to stare into his tear filled eyes as he screamed for his daddy. And it wasn't me who cried when the doctor told me that I needed to supplement my newborn with a bottle because he lost too much weight too quick. Not Me! Bottle feeding? How do you do that?

I certainly did not marry a man who would ask me "if I was ready to plant 4 acres of watermelons" less than a week after giving birth to his 5th son! Not Me! I did however, throw the closest thing in reach at the man that did ask his wife that!

I did not allow my first born child to go back to TN with my momma for 10 days & I am not going to allow him to fly home all by himself on an airplane - which I did not cry when purchased. I did not cry hysterically when they left & he did not call me crying at 11 p.m. last night b/c he already missed me & it really did not make me feel better that he does miss his momma. Not Me!

My sweet newborn baby did not pee & poop on me at least 5 times this week! Not Me! Babies cannot shoot poop a foot long! Not my baby!

Not Me! Monday!

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her AWESOME & ADDICTING blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

This past week I did not freak out at the dentist - spitting all the gadgets they were packing my mouth with OUT, pushing the dentist & hygienist away, requiring an ice pack, wet towel, trash can to vomit in, & oxygen - all while my 4 year old sat in another room by himself, being such a big boy & perfect patient. Certainly NOT ME!

And I did have maternity pictures made after an 8am baseball game in humid Texas weather & 10-15 mph wind, that was 45 minutes from our house. Can you say - BAD HAIR DAY?! Not Me!

. . . And I would never speed down the country roads, racing Momma D. & passing 2 cars to win - ONLY to pass my turn & end up loosing! Not Me!!

I really did not take 3 boys to a Ranger game 1 week before having a baby. Not Me!

I did not go to a 9am baseball game, family reunion & have a baby shower ALL in ONE day - Not Me!

I did not stop on the side of the road & put a HUGE soft-shelled turtle in the back of my just completely detailed vehicle. Not Me!

Last night I did not sweep & vacuum our house at 11pm while everyone was asleep. Not Me!

And I did not almost come an inch (literally!!) from having a HUGE buzzard from hitting my windshield on my way to my doctor's appointment. I did not hit the brakes, close my eyes, & turn my head with the thoughts of "Big Daddy is going to be so mad!" Not Me!

I really didn't spray everything I came in contact with while in town with a mini can of Lysol before touching it. (Swine Flu) Not Me!

I honestly did not consider buying a swim suite for the summer while being 9 months pregnant. Not Me!

I did not just post 3 posts on my blog in one day -- NOT ME!!!!

What didn't you do this week?