Training . . .

Some of the best advice I’ve gotten regarding homeschooling is to STOP homeschooling.  Yes, you read that right!  My real-life friend, Nicki, once told me when there is a character issue with one of her children she stops schooling until the issue is resolved.  Now that doesn’t mean just turning the TV on & hoping the issue will magically go away on its own.  It means putting school off to focus on more important issues – your child’s heart.  Yeah, that is more important than history or science!  I hate to admit this, but up until recently, we stopped schooling (well, never really started back after Tara) because Truman was so wild. 

The Bible instructs us to TRAIN our children.  And I’ve came to the realization that my wild little 2 year old was in major need of baby boot-camp!  I have been completely blessed with wonderful babies.  Then.  They turn 1.  Yes, 1.  Not 2.  Truman, however, was pretty sick from 1 to 2, so his badness was in full force.  Yes, I know all the “experts” warn against referring to your children as bad.  But I am just calling it like it is.  My Lil’ Buckaroo was driving me coo-coo!!  Actually, he was driving us all CrAzY!!!!  He is absolutely adorable, sweet, & a lot of fun.  But on the flip side – he is loud, whinny, disobedient, disruptive, destructive, & a Lil’ TERROR!!!  You know, when I started this blog Tucker & Trevor were about Truman’s age & I referred to them as my Mustangs because they were so wild.  On a movie I saw the grandmother told her 2 grandsons who were in trouble, “I’ll break you like a wild mustang!”  Which is where I got the title “Mustangs.” It was time I began training.  I’m gonna break him like a wild mustang!! 

School has been a huge challenge this year & we STILL aren’t back in the full swing of things, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel. 

Here was my plan of attack (in addition to the added tot-to-preschool activities I’ve been sharing) :

1. I really really really needed to establish a schedule for Truman alone.  Up until recently, our schedule revolved around the bigger kids & he just kinda fell in.  But it was very obvious that wasn’t workin’ out for us!

*Bed Time – Truman was the last one down & the first one up.  He doesn’t take a nap, he doesn’t have quiet time, & if he does fall asleep he is seriously up until 11pm (no matter what).  My goal was to get this boy in bed by 8:30pm every.single.night.  It doesn’t happen every night, but bed time is MUCH easier!  He is even sleeping most nights in his own bed now :)

2. Whinning – He has the loudest cry of distress EVAR!!!  So, let me introduce you to my little friend, “Quiet Spray”  Yes, ma’am.  I had a little spray bottle of water & I squirted him.  I started out on the wide soft spray, & was prepared that he would push me to turn that bad boy full-force, but this tool didn’t last long.  His brothers abused this technique & Truman broke the bottle.  It was worth a try though.  As his vocabulary expands, this is becoming less & less of an issue.  THANK GOODNESS!

3.  Meal times – were a MAJOR part of the problem.  Because he was chronically ill for a year he developed a terrible “Helen Keller” behavior at meals.  Each time he refused to sit & eat we excused him to his bedroom until he was ready to try again.  This took a lot of consistency, but in the long run paid off BIG TIME!

I really think our HOME issues are the most important, but we do homeSCHOOL, as we find our new groove - in an attempt to school in peace, I  make an effort to start school with Truman.  Its nothing new in terms of schooling with little ones.  Everyone recommends starting with the tots first, then moving to the other children.  This is easier said than done for me.  Especially when I want to finish school BEFORE dinner time.  But it is necessary. 

Prayers.  Prayers for me.  Prayers for him.  Prayers for all of us.

The REAL us . . .

We wrap each other in toilet paper for fun

And this is what happens when you are the first one to fall asleep

We have excellent fashion style

Sometimes we wear each other’s clothes – especially the ones that are 5 sizes too small!  

            

This is what you would find if you peaked in the window . . .

Just an Average Day of HOMEschooling Boys

I was planning on posting a step-by-step picture story “Day in the Life of . . .”  for the Heart of the Matter link up this week

. . . but I sorta got busy – which is PRECISELY what an average day for us is – BUSY!!!

Before we started school I posted my schedule/routine dilemma .  A minute-by-minute schedule is just ridiculous to try to maintain , but it sure looks pretty on paper.  The truth is there is no “average” day around here.  I have 4 kids.  4 boys at that.  I’m 8 months pregnant.  My husband only works 2-3 consecutive days a week & has a rotating schedule.  We live on a farm.  We HOMEschool.  We do have a routine or list of things to do each day & we try to start as soon as our morning chores allow . . .

1. I typically wake the boys up around 7:30am. 
   • With the exception of Mondays or late nights the night before.  I would MUCH rather be late in starting school than starting “on time” with 4 grouchy kids.  The same goes for me.  Sleep is becoming more & more difficult – I learned a long time ago my kids need a rested mama much more than an on time grouchy teacher :)
2. They start their day with making their beds & chores. 
   • This usually on takes about 15-30 minutes; however, it is a farm & there are always unpredictable chores needing to be done.
3. Then we eat breakfast. 
   • Some mornings it is just a quick bowl of cereal.  If Big Daddy is home, I’ll cook a “country breakfast”.  If we are running “late” we will work on memory work & Spanish during breakfast.
4. School begins!  Starting by 9am-ish a always the goal, but just a goal.
   • If we are running fairly close to a 9am start, we usually begin with Memory work, Spanish & Science, then move on to independent studies.  If we are too far past 9am we jump right into independent studies. 
   • My 5th grader has his own planner & works in whatever order he wishes (sometimes if it is his dad’s day off, he’ll get up extra early & get it all done before we are even awake).  His independent work (devotional, handwriting, math, writing, history/state study & science work) must be done before any playing or electronics. 
   • My mustangs start with Math on Mondays – we watch the MUS video & then do a lesson together, then they do one alone.  The rest of the week I start with All About Spelling & reading with one, while the other works on handwriting, math, & explode the code work, or has center time.  Then they switch.  Once those are covered we move on to language & writing.
5. LUNCH
   • The boys will check the animals’ water & finish any unfinished or necessary chores & play outside until I have lunch prepared.  Lunch is usually done by 1pm
6. Back to school
   • Once we are done with lunch we head back over to the school{barn} & finish our work.  The littler boys play for a while while I go over grammar & help Tyler with anything he is having trouble with or requires my teaching.  Then we finish any core work we haven’t made it to.  OR hopefully jump right into geography & history to mark our last subjects off the To Do list.
7. FREE TIME
   • After schoolwork is done the boys have free time, I do housework, meals, or have a little free time myself. 
8. Dinner
   • We eat pretty late most of the time, b/c we like to wait for Big Daddy to get home.  It is common for us to eat around 8ish.  We snack on fruit in the mid-afternoons & veggies or “healthy” snacks in the afternoon to hold us over.
9. Bedtime
   • This has been HIGHLY neglected for a long time.  My kids really don’t have a bedtime.  SHAME ON ME!!  Sometimes they are all tucked in & fast asleep by 9pm, sometimes they stay up & we watch a family movie or nature show together & they aren’t in bed until 10-10:30pm  YIKES!!  Some weeks my husband doesn’t get home until after 8pm for 5/7 days of the week, so I sacrifice bed time for daddy time.  Not always, but more often than I probably should.  We are much better about our bedtime routine during the fall & winter.  It is just so hard to be in bed or wind down when the sun is still out.  Plus, it is so hot right now it isn’t even cool enough to play until 7ish.

*In between all of this, I’m moving laundry, picking up the house, cleaning up after our 2 year old, returning phone calls, squeezing in computer time, etc.  I really try to stick to my weekly routine (Cleaning day, laundry day, etc.) & get my stuff DONE before I “play”. 

And just to keep it real & humor you this is what a typical day for me is filled with:

Which leads to this:

And ends with this:

And that, my friends, is what my day is truly filled with – daily boy/brother-doms!!

Check out our weekly Everyday LIFE Homeschooling Highlights!

the UGLINESS of homeschooling

I recently read this comment on a blog,

“One of the hardest parts of homeschooling is seeing just how ugly I can be. The lack of patience, the irritation, the frustration, the lack of organization. I mean, didn't I conquer ANY of these sins yet?”

Wow.  Isn’t that the truth!  From the outside I may appear to be the sweet little homeschool mama that picks the perfect curriculum & has such fun activities planned for her tot’s & has an awesome schoolbarn. 

Reality – I can be really ugly sometimes.  More often than I’d ever like to admit.  I probably act worse than the kids sometimes. 

My patience is so thin.  I “loose it”. Daily if we are being totally honest.  Tucker & Trevor fight constantly & by the end of the day I find myself yelling at them (way louder than they were yelling at each other).  Truman get’s into EVERYTHING & is a typical 2 year old & my patience can be very limited after picking up mess after disastrous mess.

I get irritated with the little things that really don’t matter.  I have 4 boys & during read alouds it irritates me beyond belief when I look up & they are standing on their heads or hitting each other or wondering off into the land of cows, raccoons, or fishing.  I expect way more from my kids than I myself can meet.  I get super frustrated when I have to read the same paragraph at least 4 times because no one is listening.  I am extremely intimidated with teaching reading & writing. 

At times I feel like a bad mommy.  A horrible homeschool mommy. And a terrible teacher. 

I allow the thoughts of ruining my kids, not meeting standards, falling behind, others judgment, & even my own judgment to overwhelm me & doubt my choices.

But then there is GRACE.  Their grace.  My own grace.  & most importantly HIS grace.  Whew.  Thank you God for knowing all the things I am going to fail at.  Thank you for that wedge of protection you put over my children at times.  Thank you for allowing them to see the good in me despite my many faults. 

It is during the ugly times – we all experience (some more than others) that we must stop & remember Philippians 4:

“Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things.”

When I find myself ashamed or disappointed with my reactions to LIFE – because, really – homeschooling or not I would still lack patience, be irritable, get frustrated, & “loose it” as a mom.  I ask God OUTLOUD (where my kids can hear) for forgiveness & whatever I am lacking at that moment.  At the end of the day I try to focus on all the good moments we had throughout the day.  Each night our family goes around the table, taking turns sharing the best part of the day.  It never fails to surprise me, on the days I feel like I failed most, when one of my children’s best parts included me. 

Homeschooling can be so discouraging at times.  Our children can be true challenges when we least expect it or are totally ill-prepared to deal with it.  Our spouses can be less understanding than we truly need.  Our friends can appear totally together when we feel like we are totally falling apart.  Blogs can be full of great memories, look what we did’s, & cool schoolrooms :)  But we are all just doing the best we can.  And if homeschooling is what you feel the Lord has lead you to, then call on God’s grace during the seasons you feel consumed with the ugliness.  For some of us it is just mere moments, others is seems like days or weeks, & to be perfectly honest there will probably be season or years you feel really ugly. 

One day I had asked the boys to clean their room at least a dozen times.  Somehow, when daddy’s gives the same instruction it gets done immediately.  For me, I was not getting the same obedient respect.  I became very upset – a screaming lunatic probably.  And handled it NOT by the book.  At first I began to feel guilty for throwing toys away.  Then a sense of understanding came over me as I felt the Lord calming me,

“Tiffany, I knew the kind of mother you were going to be before I gave these boys to you.  I picked you despite your faults to be their mother.  I knew you would be what they needed.”

I’m not saying God told me it was okay to yell at my kids, but am saying He told me it was just as okay for me to not be the perfect mother, as it was okay to accept that I wouldn’t have perfect kids.  We all make mistakes & have issues God is working on.  Hang in there sista!  You are rising to the call of a mighty King & no matter how ugly it might get - He is right there with ya all the way!  And after you peel back the layer of ugliness – there the beauty lies – An imperfect mother, showing her kids the desperate need for a forgiving & understanding Father. 

Preparing my son

I just finished reading the first part of Preparing Your Son for Every Man's Battle as part of the parent reading in our Against the Tide Curriculum.  I know I have already shared how excited I am about this curriculum & have mentioned how much I am enjoying this time with my boys, but I just have to tell you that it is such a God thing!  I stumbled on this by accident at the book fair, never having even heard of it, much less, intending on purchasing it.  And little did I know that my oldest really needed it.  I respect his privacy & some matters are NOT for mom’s blog, but because so many of us mama’s (especially to boys)  can be clueless to the signs of pre-puberty/puberty & can’t relate to the changes that occur as our children enter the “tween” year,  I want to share my thoughts on this topic without sharing too many personal details.

When I was sorting through these books at the book fair I overheard another mother arguing with the vendor (after previewing one of the books) about how if the topics in the books weren’t issues for her son why in the world would she need to address them with him.  Her argument bothered me, but I couldn’t exactly pinpoint why.  Nor was it really any of my ease-dropping business!

Preparing Your Son for Every Man's Battle is written to parents of 11+ year olds.  The first part of the book is for parents (mainly addressed to fathers, but as a mom to many boys I found it very informative & relieving to know some of the changes & questions my son is asking is typical & to prepare ME for future questions he may have).  The second portion of the book is for a parent to do with their son. 

Here are some pink highlights that you’d find in my copy:

“The male brain is more oriented to facts & logic than to emotions & intuitions.” pg 22

Isn’t that the truth!  This is part of my concern with my husband addressing our tween son – he only hits the facts & logic.  I want him to dive into the emotions & my intuitions. 

“Dad has to be close enough to his son to be able to call the ‘heart of the man’ out of the boy.”  pg 31

This brings tears to my eyes, but is so true & yet so hard to watch sometimes.  As my oldest boy exits boyhood & enters the next step into becoming a man, my heart breaks.  I blinked & my baby was a boy, I blinked again & he is a young man.  Sometimes it is so hard for me as the mama to watch as my husband calls ‘the heart of the man’ out in them.  Yet, I am so thankful they have a father that is close enough & cares enough to do so.  Necessary.  Not always easy.

“We’re often giving our kids the good things but not the best things – a biblical vision for manhood, a biblical vision of treating women with honor, & a challenging vision to give their lives a purpose that is something greater than themselves.”  pg 33

It is so easy to get caught up in things.  Even homeschooling things.  I often loose sight of the best things & need to refocus on what is really “the best” for them.  It is so important to me that they learn to live beyond themselves.

“…serial dating could bring a lot of pain as you open your emotions freely to people who are not the least bit committed to you in the long run.”  pg 68

“When you let your emotions out freely in situations where there is no real commitment, you can be crushed.”  pg 69

As my son watches his friends “going out with” girls, I had to address this with him as well.  This is so simple & honestly put.

“A Christian teen should look different from the average non-Christian teens.  Too often our adolescent Christians are indistinguishable from their non-Christian peers, watching the same movies, listening to the same music, catching the same shows on television – & even having the same attitudes about premarital sex.”  pg 81

“God doesn’t use terms like common & uncommon, & He doesn’t measure character in relation to the world.”  pg 81

These last 2 quotes are so so true.  Sometimes as parents we worry about our children fitting in, or others liking them (even homeschoolers), but I can’t tell you how proud I am to have a son that other’s compliment for being “different.”  He isn’t perfect, but his light definitely shines!  I have to warn you though, having a child that is “different” is no easy task – for them or you.  The more your child works for God’s glory the more apt they are to be spiritually attacked. 

My son really is a good boy.  He amazes me every day & his love for the Lord is astounding.  As he leaves boyhood & becomes more of a young man I find myself a little lost at times.  What is normal?  What is okay?  I was totally caught off guard by the sneaky changes of time –> puberty.  He is not so much “interested” in girls as he is noticing them now.  This can be an uncomfortable change for some young men & this book helped prepare me for future questions he may have, or questions he may already have but isn’t brave enough to ask.  The topics in this book vary & regardless, you are still the parent & get to choose when & how or even if you will address them with your son, but I think it is very important to acknowledge that there is a possibility of the the unspoken.  Your son may be going through changes & might not know how to discuss them with you.  He may be curious about things (even girls & sex), but I know for certain if you don’t talk to him about it or teach him to stand for something he will fall for anything.  The talks don’t have to be all at once, but I am learning the importance of keeping the doors of communication open & being prepared to prepare him.  I found this book an excellent resource for that. 

{Schoolroom Recovery}

 

ONE WEEK until we begin our 2011-2012 School Year. 

And THIS is what our schoolroom looked like . . .

Operation:  Schoolroom Recovery has officially began! ~

Keepin’ it Real

 

My mustangs play very well together & love each other tremendously, but they still have this strange desire to try to kill one another on a daily basis.  Yes, they fight.  A lot.  . . . Like 2 pit-bulls!  Sometimes they just yell & say mean things to each other; however, things have been known to get physical between the two.  Trevor is only 20 months younger than his big brother & takes his job of keeping Tucker in-line VERY serious.  He may be little, but oh does he have a temper & Tucker knows just how to bring it out in him. 

So, how do I handle all the fighting? 

Sometimes I ignore them.  Other times I make them say 10 nice things to each other.  Occasionally they’ll have to do something nice for the other.  And they just love to kiss :)  Putting them on opposite ends of the room works too.  Surprisingly, separating them & forbidding them to play together is a punishment in itself.  In all honestly, I do have moments of pure craziness & scream & yell at them.  Then there are times that I just send them outside to spread their blood.

LIFE captured

• Didn’t you know desks were not really made to be sat in?
• Sticking your tongue out while working really does make you smarter.
• I have no clue.
• All the cool kids wear raccoon skin hats to school!!

Life–Just not feelin’ it . . .

THANK YOU SO MUCH for your kind words, encouragement, & most of all prayers.

The last few weeks I have really been for a loss of words.  Life just kinda stopped.  Then Truman got sick.  Which lasted nearly 2 weeks, but was probably a much needed distraction.  Although I am lacking a good nights sleep, I was able to regroup & focus on real life.  Slowly. 

I’ve thought a lot about blogging more again, but I’m just not feelin’ it like I used to.  I love my blog – I even gave it a little updated look.  I have a 100 things to blog about, I just lack enthusiasm when I sit at the computer.  Maybe I’m depressed.  Maybe this is God’s way of removing a distraction from my life. 

There are so many things to do, random thoughts running through my head, pictures to post, stories to tell, but I’m just not feelin’ it.

As for Taylor:  Big Daddy has began calling her once a week (he’s spoke to her twice).  She has yet to call us or talk to me.  A part of me is sad another part mad.  I can easily slip to a negative outlook, forgetting all the reasons that led to us making this decision.  Unfortunately, the rain has to pour, the thunder will roll, & lighting may strike.  The tornado will twist & there may even be destruction involved.  All before the rainbow is arched.  I just pray – for God’s will, His timing, lots of patience & peace.  I pray a lot.

The boys:  I’ve been asked how they are dealing with this.  I hate to say it, but they are totally okay.  Honestly, they haven’t asked many questions.  There is a huge amount of peace in our house right now.  The tension & walking on egg shells is gone.  In one way we gave up a lot of control, but in another gained so much back. 

Big D:  He is having a hard time.  He misses her & worries about her constantly.  Sadly, he knows the area she is living in & it is unsettling to say the least. 

I’m not sure what the future of my blog is.  Right now, I’m focusing on spending more time with God & getting back to some kind of a routine with the boys.  Taylor leaving, a very sick baby, deer season, & Tim on vacation has not made very many productive school days.  I have got to get it together. 

My Mama Said . . .

There would be days like this …

As much as I try to be “real” on my blog & as transparent as possible, I also try  not to whine or air my dirty laundry.  And I also seldom post “same day” posts *ESPECIALLY when I have had days like this!  But today I just want to scream & cry.  It has just been one of those days.

Today was a horrible terrible no good very bad day.

I am totally exhausted & it isn’t even dark outside.

I think my oldest & youngest have paired up & are in cahoots to send me to the looney farm.

Taylor is back at her old games & Truman has learned a few new ones of his own (that involve screaming at window shatter pitches most of the day).

Being a mom is sooooo hard!  I just want my mom!!  (only she is a few states away)

Being a “step-mom” is even harder.  The temptation of just quitting is quite alluring at this point.

I just concluded the last week of Lisa Whelchel’s Creative Corrections Bible study.  Monday, I would have told you how great things were, how the storm had passed & we were finally sailing on smooth water & clear skies.  Today = NOT SO MUCH!

Have I mentioned how exhausted I am?  TOTALLY EXHAUSTED.

So here is the low-down:

Taylor is in her 4th week of public school.  Since the very first week, I have continued to ask her about her grades & have repeatedly been told “90’s!!  . . . doing GREAT!!”  So, you would understand my shock when yesterday I was given a progress report with a 0 & 40 on it for quiz grades.  Then to discover that the progress report was given the previous day & needed to be signed. 

Taylor’s math teacher, “why isn’t your progress report signed Taylor?” 

Taylor, “Oh she was too busy.  I put it in her in-box, but she just didn’t take time to sign it – she really didn’t care.”

Nice.  So, the quizzes need to be signed.  Wait, there is only 1 here.  Where is the other quiz?

Taylor, “My teacher didn’t give me that one.”

. . . After seeing her teacher at Bible Study last night we discover the quiz WAS given back to be signed.  Taylor just took the liberty of signing it herself. 

So, for some reason waiting a day made a huge difference to Taylor to show me.  As a result, she lost the opportunity at a free 100. 

What “creative correction” did we have you ask?  Lots!  She has pretty much lost everything!  Yep, right down to me picking out her clothes. 

The same old dance, just a different song. 

I am so discouraged!  I thought we were passed all of this. 

I guess not.  I cannot put into words the betrayal I feel.  I’m really not mad about the grades.  I am infuriated that I was lied to & that she lied to another adult & forged my signature. 

She is 12.  12!  Seriously?!  If she is forging my signature on progress reports at 12, what is it going to be when she is 16?  18? & so on?  I am so scared for her.  More than anything fear is terrorizing my very sole.  It is heartbreaking to have a child that continues to make the same bad choices over & over again, without any regards to right or wrong.  Trust is a HUGE thing to me.  It sucks not being able to trust one of your kids. 

I’m really trying not to take it personal, but it is extremely hard.  What am I doing wrong? 

To add to matters, she shows very little remorse.  She is more worried about herself & is having her own personal pitty-party because she is totally grounded – trying to make everyone feel sorry for.  Again, it is all about “her”.  I could go on & on about the silly games she is playing for pitty from anyone that will listen – telling people how awful I am b/c she had to take a PB&J for lunch (that in her words is “starving her”), how terrible it is that I picked her clothes today & did not allow her to participate in the camo spirit day.  Blah Blah Blah – still all about her.  She is more sorry for being caught than she is for hurting us. 

Please pray for me.  I know I am entitled to be angry & have every right to have my feelings hurt, but I HATE this feeling inside of me.  It just sucks the life out of me which is not fair to the rest of our family at all.  Please pray for Taylor as well.  I know she loves the Lord, but she is making crazy choices!

PS.  Pray for Truman too.  He is entering “baby boot camp” asap!    :)

I Will Survive!

Do you ever get a little overwhelmed with it all? 

. . . the house, the kids, the books, the crayons, the markers, the books, the kids, the house, the mess, the stuff?!

Do you ever just want to throw it all out the window?

Right now, I am knee deep in stuff.   Our schoolroom STILL isn’t done, so I have been just piling it up in a corner here & table there . . . reality hit this week & I’m preparing to start school . . . And there is just so much STUFF!

Right now, I’m wishing I were homeschooling on a shoe-string, because there is more STUFF than I know what to do with!

Big Daddy is reading this, mumbling, “Yeah, go buy some more!”

There is a lot of stuff & sadly, it isn’t all here yet :0  (that smiley just doesn’t exert the look of horror I was going for.)

I am totally excited about giving my update on my “better be finished by September schoolroom” this week, but right now, I am sorting through all the stuff!  I am a little overwhelmed.  To say the house is a disaster is an understatement (Daddy’s Girl’s room is rockin’ though!!!)  The kids have been well fed with popcorn all day.  I have managed to organize the crayons & markers.  I’ve got lot’s of piles of books & I have no idea where to put them.  Truman is being such a sticker – insisting on being held

ALL. DAY. L-O-N-G. 

I have got to get this mess picked up!  I am totally overwhelmed with all this stuff!  On top of that, I’m still not sure what I want to use for Language Arts this year with Momma’s Boy.  I just can’t decide.  I’m very interested in Analytical Grammar & I love love love Winter Promise – it is so good at keeping me on task & I’ve still not been able to say good-bye to First Language lessons.  There are just too many decisions!  AHHH! 

Then I got this in an e-mail:

I WILL SURVIVE!!

Taylor

Our sweet girl left this week for her summer visitation with her mom.  She will be gone most of the month of July.  It is always hard to see the kids go off & honestly it is even harder when they come back –> adjusting back to our rules & expectations isn’t always easy for any of us, but it is just part of this blended family thing, so we make it work the best we can.   A lot has changed since THIS post, when I prayed:

I pray mostly for Taylor . . .

That He holds her in His arms & gives her a peace & understanding for His plan.  That she does not seek anyone more than God.  I pray that she finds happiness in the Lord & not her living arrangements.  That she understands her value is not in the kind of parents she has, but in the kind God she serves.

God is soooo GOOD!  Taylor is doing extremely well.  She is in a much better place emotionally than EVER before!!  Although, she misses her mom (naturally) she seems to be at peace with the situation & definitely has a better understanding of the circumstances.  I truly believe the Lord took this burden from her & she has found joy in life. 

I pray for myself . . .

That I may give God the glory & be the bigger person – not a total bitch, but not a complete push-over either.  I pray that I can be a good wife, mom, & Christian no matter what.

No doubt – the Glory is all His!  I wish I could say I was always the bigger person, but I’m only human.  Emotions have settled & we are all handling things much better & doing our best to keep Taylor out of the middle.    

I pray for Taylor’s mom too . . .

I pray that God opens her eyes so that she may be the mom that Taylor needs.  I pray God opens her heart to do what is best for Taylor.  I told her a long time ago that no matter how good a mom I am to Taylor or how happy she is with us, some day she will look to her & have questions. 

Taylor’s mom is doing well in my opinion.  She has realized that for the time being we are able to provide a more stable home for Taylor; however, she is trying to improve her situation so that someday Taylor may be able to live with her.  I continue to pray for God to work in her life.

I pray for the lawyers & judge . . .

I am so thankful that we have a God fearing, kind, hard working, very good attorney fighting this battle with us.  He truly cares about Taylor & her safety much more than money.

I pray that God gives the judge a clear view of the situation & he makes the best ruling in regards to Taylor’s safety & spiritual walk.

I try not to get into too much detail; however, now that things are somewhat settled I can share that we still have custody & full conservatorship of Taylor.  Her mother agreed to counseling & a few other terms that were very important to us regarding her visits with Taylor.  She was also ordered to pay child support.

I pray for Taylor’s counselor . . .

That God uses her as a vessel to equip Taylor with the coping skills she so desperately needs as she is unfortunately in the middle.  I thank God for her counselor as she equips us to be better parents & urges us to keep Taylor out of it. 

All the adults attended group counseling.  Counseling has proven to be a great thing for all of us.  Taylor started going at least once a week – once on her own & once with one of us at times.  It has slowly decreased now to just once a month!  Just to keep this real – counseling is NOT easy.  There were times none of agreed, times we were all screaming at each other, lot’s of tears, & a great deal of work.  There were numerous occasions we disagreed (even with the counselor), but we toughed it out & with God’s grace we are doing well.

I pray for God’s will!

It is so easy to get carried away wanting to be right.  The Lord has reeled us all in & been so good to us.  He continues to work on all our hearts & mold us for His plan.  This summer Taylor has voiced her desire to return home for her schooling.  Over the next few weeks we will be prayerfully considering homeschooling Taylor next year.   My heart is in homeschooling, but I want to make sure that I am following God’s plan & not mine!!

Enough

Do you ever have enough?  The other day I overheard Trevor yelling at his brother, “Tucker!!  That is enough & I mean it!!”  Where on earth did he get that from.  Ahem! 

Yes, I have had enough at times & I meant it.

I take my job as a mommy very seriously & when someone insults my mommy skills it is rather hard to swallow.  I’m kinda sensitive like that.  Although I know I’m not perfect, I don’t really like to be told that & after hearing a list of all my mistake I kinda get enough of it . . .

I consider myself a GOOD mommy.  In fact, I’d say I am a VERY GOOD mommy.  Good, but not perfect.  I love my kids very much.  There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for them.  They are my life!  However, I make mistakes – daily.  Hopefully, nothing too psychologically damaging.  In addition to taking my motherhood seriously, I also take my journey with God very seriously.  I love Jesus.  I love spending time with Him.  I love sharing about Him with my kids.  However, I fail daily at my Christ-like characteristics.  I try wholeheartedly to put the armor of God on & posses the fruits of the Spirit & each day I fall flat on my face!  But I try!!

During a rough time in being the other mom, I was continually feeling attacked.  A statement was made that attacked the kind of mom I am.  The statement really upset me, but so did my response unfortunately. 

The person making this statement was implying that I think I’m better than her.  Absolutely!  But only according to worldly standards.  In God’s eyes I think He was more disappointed in me than her.  Unfortunately, my response was not Christ-like, even though at the time I thought it was.  Instead of giving some therapeutic reflecting response like, “I’m sorry you feel that way.”  or “So what I hear you saying . . .”  I took the sword of the spirit & stabbed my accuser right in the heart!  Sure did.  Romans 8:31 to be exact.  And almost instantly, God began to hold that stinkin’ mirror in my face.  Sure thang!  That night I could hear the Holy Spirit speaking to me  . . .

“Tiffany, you used my precious scripture to one up a fallen child of mine.  I love her just as I love you.  You did not use the sword of the spirit to fight MY battle, you used it to fight your own.  She is not the enemy my child.  I see your heart & I know you love Me.  Let that be enough.”

I am so glad He doesn’t get enough of me!

Do my boys fight?

Ummm … YES!!

24 hours a day.

Yes, I said that right – 24!!!

I’m pretty sure (based on the way they wake up)

they even fight in their sleep!

Oh, don’t feel sorry for the little guy! Trust me, this little guy is my fighting Irishman. He is my WILD child & will take his brothers down in a heartbeat. Don’t believe me (I know, he looks so little & innocent) . . .

Do you see it? Do you see the look of pure enjoyment? Just look at the satisfaction he gets out of trying to DROWNED his brother!!!

And incase you didn’t know, COUNTRY BOYS swim in water troughs for fun!

They do fight, A LOT, but they really do LOVE each other A LOT too!

Big Daddy’s Projects

My man is really a GREAT handyman. 

BUT

He NEVER finishes any of his projects!

AND

He is ALWAYS starting a new one!

For example:  Currently at Rockin’ C . . .

Big Daddy decided we needed more chickens.

So he bought an incubator

And filled it full of eggs.

The eggs hatched.   

 

Lots of them

 

Are now living in my living room.

 

Recently Big Daddy woke up & decided to become a FISH farmer!

I wish I could explain.  But I can’t.  All I know is we have A LOT of fish living in our barn.

 

Yep, life at the Rockin’ C is full of chickens & fish!

Super Woman

What are you . . .

What kind of woman are you? 

What kind of wife are you? 

What kind of mother are you? 

We are all guilty of it from time to time . . . trying to be “Super Mom” comparing ourselves to others, over extending ourselves, putting unbelievable amounts of pressure upon our shoulders . . . 

While on this journey of life I have come to realize that there is no such thing as a “Super Woman” off any kind.  Instead of trying to fly, I have put my cape down & fallen to my knees & begged my Lord to help me become a  Godly women! I fail daily, but He doesn’t.  His grace & mercy amaze me.  Life is so much better when you are living for Him & His approval rather than the worlds.  There is no such thing as a “Super Woman” – it is impossible.  But when we make God the center of our lives, marriages, home(school), & parenting the rest falls into place. 

Several weeks back, at our Curriculum Show & Tell, I sat in a room & listened to a group of wonderful women offer some fantastic tips.  Here is the list I returned home with:

1. God 1st, husband next, then kids.
2. Don’t compare yourself to others!
3. Let your family be who God wants them to be.
4. Accountability is a necessity.
5. Learn Scripture. TOGETHER!
6. School is NOT Life!! (This can apply not only to homeschool families, but all families.)

For so much of my life, my marriage, & my motherhood I have strived to be PERFECT – “Super Woman,”  but God has tenderly (& NOT so tenderly at times) showed me that it is far more satisfying to be a Godly woman.  I will never be perfect.  I am sinful little thing.  Seriously!  But I so badly want to be the Proverbs My marriage would be such a mess without God.  I am by far the perfect wife & honestly, I don’t think I like her anyway.  I do however, admire a Godly wife to my very core.  My poor kids.  I love them so much.  How did I get chosen to be their mom.  WOW!  I’m no super mom, but what a blessing it will be if someday they look back & say they had a Godly mom. 

Oh, Lord my God, I need Your help.  Through You ALL things are possible.  Please mold me & to be like You.  Teach me Your ways.  Put the desire in my heart so that I may be a Godly daughter that brings glory to her Father.

I loose it.  He shows me where it is.  And WE put it back together, together.

Struggling Reader

“Do we have to?”

As homeschool mom’s our dream is to have children who love to read. We introduce letters & sounds, begin phonics, start beginning readers, & soon our children are reading Moby Dick . . . We have visions of our children begging for more, “just one more chapter!”

So what happens when our dreams are NOT reality? How do we handle it when we have a struggling reader? When we’ve mastered letters & sounds, when we’ve exhausted ourselves in phonics & have our own personal library of beginning readers, yet our child still seems to struggle?

This weekend I went to a homeschool workshop, “How To Teach Your Child to Read” by Lodestar ministries. I’ll be totally honest, I was at my wits end. My sweet math wiz, Momma’s boy just isn’t progressing with leaps & bounds in his reading. He is struggling. This is a little difficult for me to admit, as I tend to internalize the reality & assume blame. Have I done my child injustice?

I began phonics with Tyler when he was starting kindergarten. I knew he wasn’t ready, but I felt pressured by family members & his “people” to keep up with the status quo. After all, in public school the children were learning to read. After several failed attempts at numerous phonics curriculums & finally powering through with Hooked On Phonics it seemed he was ready to begin reading. I’ve heard so many people say, “just give them good books & it’ll happen.” I surrounded him in wonderful literature on varying levels, but to no avail. He was struggling.

Until this year, I told myself, “He’s a boy, he is math orientated – it’ll click …” But as we began his 3rd grade year, I still wasn’t seeing him taking off. He was truly trying, but growing increasingly frustrated. And honestly, so was I. We had spent years on phonics at this point. He knew his blends, he mastered his sight words, but he just wasn’t piecing together the entire process. So much of his work comes easy to him, that he expected the same with reading. Therefore he rushes through his reading quickly guessing & relying much on sight & little on applying his phonics studies. He continued to flip b & d and often confused “what” for “that” or “when for then.”

What now? My goal is not to have the best reader or be better than public schools. I am okay with the fact that he was considered “behind” in comparison to some public school children. Don’t think for one minute that there aren’t struggling readers in public school as well. It just seems to be more accepted there than it is with homeschool children. After all, in public school it is just a struggling reader. In homeschooled children homeschooling is to blame. More than anything I want to lead my son into the heart of reading. I wanted him to love reading. I want to seem him take that plunge into reading independently & loving it! How do I do this when reading is a struggle?

I began to pray! I asked a retired teacher that attends our church to tutor Tyler & then I came across the “How To Teach Your Child to Read” workshop. homeschool mom, Cheryl . Guess what? To my surprise I left the seminar with some fantastic ideas to implement, but more than anything I returned home reassured & relieved. Cheryl shared principles, processes and techniques that she has gathered, explored, and tried over the years; drawn from so many sources, people, books, and years of experience. Her theory: “Better late than early!” She shared research with us that indicated that children (*boys especially) aren’t developmentally ready for reading until they are between 7-9 years old. Much of the groundwork & enrichment activities that she shared I AM DOING!! Whew! What a relief. Did you know that reading should NOT be emotional work? If it is, your child isn’t ready. And guess what else? It’s OK. Better late than early. Cheryl explained the importance of “crossover” development & explained the importance of delaying reading mastery until your child is ready. Research shows that reading outloud can be a difficult process that requires a high level of crossover processing. Sometimes, this area needs to be strengthened until your child is ready to emerge to the next level of independent reading. Sometimes boys aren’t ready for this step until after 10 years old. Delayed reading does not hurt your child – just your ego.

Here is a peak at some of my notes I took this afternoon:

• Prepare: LET THEM PLAY! Free play is very important & the learning curve sky-rockets when you engage WITH your child while they are playing.
• Electronics & toys with personalities (Barbie, Dora, Power Rangers) will NOT increase your child’s reading readiness skills.
• Singing & rhyming are great tools = Mother Goose
• Puzzles, blocks, legos are great tools for developing/strengthening “crossover” skills
• I-Spy games (with adjectives)
• Don’t make preschoolers “BE STILL” while you are reading outloud – enjoy being together!
• Make learning together FUN!
• Story sequencing
• Let your child be the teacher
• Ask good questions – Do NOT give the answer – lead your child into discovering the answer himself
• Read books with patterns & repetition
• Don’t correct reading mistake – get “no” out of your mind – allow them to self-correct
• There is such a thing as too much too soon
• If reading is emotionally taxing – STOP!!

Cheryl’s workshop was just what I need to put my goals & expectations back in order. This week, as we read together, I’m going to relax & not worry what “level” Tyler is reading. Instead we are going to focus on building his confidence, strengthening his skills, & will do a lot of re-reading of good books. Most of all we are going to ENJOY reading!

HELP!!

This is something that doesn’t come easy for me to admit, but I need help.  No, not mental help –  They haven’t driven me to the crazy house just yet!  And no, I don’t have an addiction either. 

I need help with ALL THESE kids!!!

There I said it! 

My momma gets so frustrated with me when we are together, because I refuse to let her help.  I just get so used to doing things myself that at times I don’t even realize I need help.  Accepting help is hard for me.  Asking for help is even harder. 

I don’t know why it is so difficult for me to admit.  Perhaps I feel judged . . . judged for having a large family (6 kids don’t seem like very many compared to REALLY large families with like 18 kids). Everyone seems to have an opinion about our family size – even total strangers at the grocery store & even very close well meaning family members.  So, with the judgments from others & my own Do It Myself tendencies H-E-L-P became increasingly difficult for me to accept & ask for. 

Well dear friends, I am at a point in life that I can admit & even beg & plead for HELP!!  I am now comfortable with who I am & what I do for my family that I don’t have to be the one doing it ALL.  And I don’t feel any less of a mother for saying a little help would be nice.  I’ve come to the realization that help does not mean that I am inadequate & it is not an admission of guilt either.  I am very happy with the size of my family & I can handle the responsibilities that come with it.  Help is just nice. 

So there ya have it . . .  I, Tiffany Scott, need, want, & have sought for help!  Seek & ye shall find! Last week was my first week of having hired help.  A young new mother that lives very close to me is coming over for a couple hours twice a week to help me.  She is not cleaning or schooling or doing the things I just don’t want to do – she is mostly here just to help.  Help hold my little Buckaroo so Momma’s Boy can have uninterrupted time to school with me.  Help to get that drink the Mustangs are begging for.  Help to make sure that one part of the house doesn’t fall apart while I’m focusing on the other.  Just simple, much needed, & greatly appreciated help.  What a wonderful blessing it is.  

NOT the Brady Bunch

I’ve given my blog a lot prayerful thought lately.   As I shared in my previous post, I’ve grown to resent my blog & have become overly cautious of what I post about.  Not that I necessarily want to air my dirty laundry with the blogosphere, but just that fact that I couldn’t if I wanted to was irritating.  And the reality that if I did share the slightest personal not-so-perfect thoughts or going-on’s it could be used against me later.  Ahhhh!  I just felt like “WHAT IS MINE?  When can the masquerade stop?”  When blogging, I hate having to be cautious & I resent not being able to say, TODAY WAS A TERRIBLE NO GOOD VERY BAD DAY!  Because, when dealing with the court system a bad day can often be turned into much more.  And in all honesty, a few people have been throwing quite a few stones from glass houses.

At this point I think I am at peace with my blog.  I am walking by faith.  No more withholding because I’m worried about how it may make me look in other peoples’ eyes.  For it is not their eyes that really matter.  Recently, Taylor’s mom & I were in an argument & to summarize this incident, I was told I could “hide behind my Bible but God sees the bad in my heart too!”  Well, she couldn’t be more right.  He does see my heart & I’m okay with that.  As a Christian my goal is to be Christ-like, but as a sinner I know I will fall short of this.  Am I a hypocrite because I say I’m a Christian & sit in a pew on Sunday mornings yet sin within hours after leaving?  Certainly not.  I’m not perfect & I am going to make mistakes.  In fact, I think I’m entitled to every now & then.  I carry my own crosses each day & no one knows what I am working on or what God is working on in me.  Trust me, He is working on me! Because I believe in God & strive to be a Godly woman, set Godly standards & pass those standards on to my children someone seems to feel the need to point out & dig for any & every mistake I make.  And it is extremely nerve-wracking! 

I have been the responsible & reliable one.  I’m the one that everything seems to fall on.  For a long time I felt obligated & even privileged to do so.  Recently, these people have attacked me personally with words that not only offended me, but have deeply hurt my children as well.  I’m sure there are other mom’s/step mom’s out there that feel all alone, well you aren’t. 

So, you see we are NOT the Brady Bunch & from now on, if at times I feel led to share tid-bits of this VERY-BLENDED family thang or even use my blog to vent a little – I’m going to.  It’s my blog & I’ll share if I want to!  If you don’t want to read my outlook on the situation, maybe you shouldn’t read MY blog! 

We are back in school, working our way to finding just the right routine, & have a good time together.  We have even gone on another field trip.  Coming Soon!

Seriously?!

Not-so-typical has unfortunately become quite typical around here . . . .

My head is spinning, I’m way too emotional, I feel like the waves are crashing down on me & it is taking everything I can do to tread the water.

Although in all reality it is not, I feel like my world is total ciaos!

My perfectly sweet complacent baby has suddenly become extremely spoiled & won’t let me put him down – he will seriously cry FOREVER!

My boys seriously want to kill each other! They fight from sun up to sun down – making me want to SERIOUSLY pull my hair out.

My daughter has been seriously disappointed by her mother AGAIN! Which causes her to take it out on me & her brothers – who have seriously had enough.

And to top it all off, my husband seriously does not get it!

I seriously love my family. I am just seriously tired.

I’m tired of the fighting, screaming, name calling, belittling, disrespecting, unappreciativeness, rude, inconsiderate behavior that seems to have SERIOUSLY gotten out of control in my house. And I’m seriously tired of being the only one trying to fix it!

This is how I was SERIOUSLY feeling last week . . . hints why I didn’t blog for nearly a week. I just couldn’t. I was so exhausted – emotionally & physically. I had to stop for a moment, take a deep breath, & begin again. I am seriously a very blessed woman. I have 1/2 a dozen wonderful children. I have a husband that loves me. I have soooo much to be thankful for, but last week I couldn’t even hear myself think! SERIOUSLY!!

Have you heard the saying, “If momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy!” Well, that was the case in our house last week. I even got roses for the first time since I think we were dating! (that is another story though) I am much better now & have a trip to my momma’s coming up soon to plan for, but hopefully I can give my blog a little attention before our real break begins. I can’t wait to share what we’ve been up to . . .

SERIOUSLY!!