Friday

Friday I walked through doors every mother dreads .  .  . Doors that read the dreary words:

“Blood Disorder & Cancer Patients”

I’d lie if I told you that I haven’t had this sick to my stomach – on the verge of tears at any moment feeling deep inside my stomach the past few weeks.  BUT I can’t even begin to describe the PEACE that surpasses all understanding.  The peace that I clung to in order to hold back the river of tears my eyes were filled with each time Truman’s temperature read 104+.  That same peace I gripped with all my might as I confidently walked through those doors.

The truth is, Truman is a very sick baby.  I recently posted about my returning to blogging & just as soon as I did my 18 month old was struck with fever AGAIN!  This would make his third illness in less than two months.  The last couple of months he has had fever more than not.  In fact, he has not made it longer than 10 days without a fever.  To see him so sick so often & have those mommy instincts the Lord equipped us with running full force is completely heart-breaking.  I have prayed for healing, for wisdom for the doctors, for understanding of the bigger picture.  And I know without a doubt it will all come in His TIME!  Yes, the Lord is giving me quite the lesson in TIME lately.  :)

Although the Hematologist referred us to a couple different specialist, he also gave us an answer to our prayers – He does NOT need to see Truman as a patient.  After reviewing his records & studying his blood work, he assured us that Truman does NOT have Leukemia or any blood disorders!! 

PRAISE GOD!!

Friday, I walked out of those doors with an overflowing amount of thanksgiving, but at the same time my heart just broke for the mothers I passed in the hall.  The mother’s that aren’t as fortune.  The mommy’s that are carrying their sweet innocent bald babies who are fighting for their life.  May God Bless them in their heart wrenching journey & may each of their stories bring glory to the Almighty Physician.  I couldn’t help but pray as I passed each one.  Feeling an enormous amount of guilt for the relief that overcame me as I all but ran out of those doors – knowing that they did not receive the same news when they first entered those doors.  Inside those doors is so sad.  Please pray for those families.

Please pray for Truman too.  He is doing well now.  Well, for the most part.  We are trying very hard to get him to gain weight (which is like pulling teeth) & I am happy to report – despite his continuous illnesses - he did manage to gain a pound in one week!!!!  He is officially 20 pounds.  Specifically pray for heeling.  It would be nice for God to grant the doctors the wisdom to figure out what is going on with him, but more importantly I just don’t want to see my baby hurt anymore.  I know God is giving Truman his own little story so I’m willing to trust more in Him than my own understanding.  I pray we travel this path in a way that will glorify Him – wherever that path may lead.  He is the same today as He was Friday and I wrest assured that He will be the same tomorrow!

Do not worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. — Philippians 4:6 NRSV