Clean Your Room!!

How do I get my boys to pick up their room?

Cleaning their room . . . I will be honest, my boys’ room is clean every night before they go to bed (*with few exceptions). 

First, the toys in their room are very limited.  Most of our toys are educational & stay in the schoolroom.  We have inside toys & outside toys, school toys & room toys - sometimes they rotate around, but generally this helps keep things where they belong.  And for the most part the toys in there room stay IN THEIR ROOM!  - not all over the house.  *this doesn't always happen though. 

Since the boys have been little I have given them all the freedom in the world to "play" as imaginatively as possible & overlook the mess . . . until I trip over something or Big Daddy is on his way home.

*If during the day I see things getting out of control I’ll ask them to do a quick 10 second tidy – usually this means each person picks up 10 things that aren’t being played with (sometimes I’ll help).

*It takes Big Daddy an hour to drive home, so about the time I know he is getting off work I begin to prepare the house – including their room.  It has become such a routine that they typically don’t argue.  The way they pick up varies.  Most of the time they do it together.  If there is arguing I’ll split the room in sections & each one is responsible for a specific area.  Sometimes I will have them clean it in turns.  For example – Tyler will being doing other chores & Tucker will be picking up the room.  Then they will switch.  I never say pick up “what you got out” because that always leads to a fight.  The rule is to just pick up.  I don’t care who got it out.  I don’t need to know who played with it last.  Just pick up. 

To make it a little fun I will often play music, race them, help them, or give them a treat after it is clean.

Picking up their room is a daily thing.  The real cleaning (sorting toys, organizing drawers, dusting, etc.) is done once a month & I typically do it & they help.

All of my kids (even the littlest) are good workers.  I think this is because we started so young with them. 

Taylor used to have major issues with cleaning her room.  I would find things shoved under the bead, dirty clothes in the clean clothes draw, clothes thrown all over the floor, etc.  It was much more of a struggle with her.  In the beginning, I would clean with her, check on her cleaning processes, & even reward her.  I finally just made a checklist describing our standards of a “clean” room & an extra chore was issued for anything not done.  She was our oldest in the house & the only one that had their own room, so our expectations were higher. 

My best friend has a problem with her daughter getting distracted while cleaning.  I think a checklist is still a good option, but I also use timers with my boys or would say “see if you can pick up your room before this song is over” or I would threaten their lives if it wasn’t done.  LOL

The focus with their rooms has been more about making the house a joy for their daddy to come home to than it has been anything.  They love to please him so typically all I have to say is Daddy’s going to be home soon & it works. 

What are your tricks for getting your kids to clean their room?

My FAVORITE {links}

FABULOUS blogs *Especially"* for those with little children:

• Quirky Momma
• Lets Explore
• {Share and Remember}

LARGE Families:

• Large Family Mothering
• The Boyer Blog

PARENTING:

• What do you do with Boys? by The Boyer Blog
• Mini Homekeeping Book For Girls

ORGANIZING:

• Organizing Junkie
• KIDS mudroom
• Magnetic-Dry-Erase Calendar
• Drawing Paper Roll

HOMEschooling Posts i HEART:

• Classical Conversations Board
• Memory Work
• Lap Journal {FIVE IN A ROW}
• Tiny Tips for Little Bits

READING:

• Teaching boys to READ by The Boyer Blog
• READ & WRITE by Lets Explore
• Getting Started With Chapter Books
• Gift Idea:  Book Series Sampler
• Read Aloud Skills
• . . . while you are there check out the awesome Writing Kit

Goals!

One of the things that I love about the “Against The Tide” curriculum guide I purchased from Generations of Virtue is the list of goals that my children should learn for the year.  I always set academic goals for my kids each year, but could feel the Lord tugging on me to set character goals as well.  Especially now that a little princess will be here soon, my boys have a little refining to do! 

Here are the goals for my mustangs (from the guide, I will be adding to these soon):

• Table manners
• How to be a good sport
• How to be a good host or hostess
• How to share their toys
• How to behave at a social gathering
• How to greet other people politely
• They should always clarify with their parents the things they hear from their friends or each other
• What constitutes a good work ethic
• Why it is important to do a good job on the tasks you are given
• A good attitude toward work & chores

Here are the goals for Tyler (all the above plus . . .):

• Why God tells us to wait for relationships
• The Bible speaks to us about God’s guidelines for everyday topics
• How to find answers in the Bible
• Good Character is more important that wealth, physical appearance, or popularity
• He can come to his parents about puberty, sex, & relationships

 

Here are a few ideas I have for adding to the suggests from the Against the Tide program :

Table Manners

- Recently, my church held a “Glam Day” for the youth girls of our church.  *I will share more on this in detail soon, but one of the topics was etiquette.  An older (self claimed, “Blue Hair”) lady, whom I highly respect & admire, suggested having every Sunday evening dinner be a special etiquette meal.  She said she would prepare a lovely meal & her boys (3) would work on their table manners & she would instruct them on etiquette. 

How to be a good host

- I love the suggestion of creating A Hospitality Calendar in Large Family Logistics.  Each month I will have goal for opening our home & being a more active hospital family.  For example, one month we will invite a family from church over, another month we will invite an older couple over, another month we will invite a family we would like to get to know better, etc.  Large Family Logistics offers great suggestions to plan & prepare for guests. 

How to share their toys

- There are few smaller children we have over that my boys have a difficult time sharing with.  I plan to be more diligent about planning ahead & putting toys that are special or easily breakable away (this boy can tend to be rather rough); however, I will also remind my boys that the toys that are out are toys to be shared.  I have always had a deal with my kids that anything that is broken by another child I will be happy to replace for them. 

How to greet other people politely

- My children are rather polite, but there are a few bad habits (mostly out of nervousness) that need to be worked on.  Mainly, saying “what” & always looking the person you are talking to in the eye. 

Work ethics/happy hearts when doing chores/doing a good job

- Tyler has met all of these goals.  Recently, Tucker has become his helper & he is doing a great job of training him.  Tucker is young & has a long way to learn the ropes & develop a good work ethic, but I am going to make a huge effort to develop another chore chart/system.  This has been a need for quite awhile.

Purity, Dating, Sex, etc.

- Big Daddy & I have seen signs of Tyler beginning to go through puberty.  We’ve both had short little talks with him on what to expect & he is pretty comfortable with asking us questions.  We don’t do the whole boy-friend/girl-friend thing, but we have had to address it more this year because of other kids his age doing it.  Tyler is very obedient & our explanations seem to have been suffice for him him, but I am looking forward to opening the lines of communication more on this topic & continuing to direct him Biblically in this area.  Sex really isn’t an issue right now; however, I do believe that we, as his parents, should be the first ones to mention the topic rather than him hearing it elsewhere first & then coming to us.  I think this subject can be addressed at this point at an age appropriate level with his dad & I using our parental discretion.  

Dealing with Lying.

Here are the scriptures & such that Taylor is working on:

“Keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking lies.”  - Ps. 34:13

“The Lord detests lying lips, but he delights in men who are truthful.”  Prov. 12:22

“Truthful lips endure forever, but a lying tongue lasts only a moment.”  Prov. 12:19

“Do not steal.  Do not lie.  Do not deceive one another.”  Lev. 19:11

“You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”  John 8:32

“Do everything without complaining or arguing.  Then you will be blameless & innocent.  You will shine like stars among people who are crooked and corrupt.  You will be God’s children without any fault among the world.”  Phil. 2:14-15

“Whatever happens, give thanks, because it is God’s will in Christ Jesus that you do this.”  1 Thes. 5:18

“Every person should obey the government in power.  No government would exist if it hadn’t been established by God.  The government which exists have been put in place by God.”   Rom 13:1

I also had her:

Define:  Honesty, Lie, Deceit/Deception

Find Synonyms & Antonyms for honesty.

Copy & Memorize:

“Honesty is a commitment to truth in thought, word, and deed.  Telling the truth is the key to good character.  An honest person can be trusted; he is reliable and other people can count on her.  Honesty involves making a conscious decision (and daily choices) to base your life upon the truth and to live in truth.”

“The lie is the refuge of the coward when he is found out in a fault.”  - Charlotte Mason

“A man who lies to himself, and believes his own lies, becomes unable to recognize truth, either in himself or in anyone else, and he ends up losing respect for himself and for others.  When he has no respect for anyone, he can no longer love, and in him, he yields to his impulses, indulges in the lowest form of pleasure, and behaves in the end like an animal in satisfying his vices.  And it all comes from lying to others and yourself.”  -Fyodor Dostoevsky

After she memorized the first section (which I found HERE) she smiled & said, “I feel good.”  It was rewarding for her to have accomplished this.  I was proud of her memorization, but more proud out of the self-satisfaction she got out of it.  More than proud though, I am hopeful it is the Lord working on her heart.  Lying has been a demon our daughter has had to fight for a very long time & she will more than likely have to fight this “addiction” her entire life.  I’m not sure what her motive is or what exactly she is “getting out of it” but I will say it is very frustrating being the one holding her accountable & encouraging her when I know she is seeing her mom lie & deceive us (& in her eyes, getting away with it). I can only imagine as a young girl how confusing this must be for her.  As an adult it makes the mama bear in me come out.  Yes, her mother is fully aware of this & still continues down the same path.  I just pray she doesn’t drag Taylor down it with her.  I try to find comfort in know Who is directing her path . . . 

_ _ _ – _ _ _ _ _

 

Can you guess what the title spells?

Daddy’s girl is NOT the only child in our house that needs a little creative correcting.  I call them all outlaws remember?  The boys have had some issues with picking their clothes up off the floor A LOT lately.  You would think they were a bunch of silly girls considering how often they change clothes.  I was constantly tripping over dirty clothes or finding clean ones thrown out all over the place as a result of them hunting something in particular.  It was seriously on my everlasting nerve.  After yelling & threatening didn’t seem to work, I realized I needed a little creativity to solve the problem.  (*I’m still working on starting with creativity rather than resorting to it as a final attempt)

 

I wrote lines on our dry-erase board in the kitchen hang-man style & told the boys that every time I saw their clothes picked up I would add a letter to spell:

 

And as soon as they spelled it they would get their choice of ice-cream:  root-beer float, sunday, banana split, whatever!  Guess what?  It worked!!  Every day for 8 days they kept their clothes picked up without me even having to remind them.  They didn’t miss one day.  I’m hoping now they have formed the habit of picking their clothes up, but we may have to do it again one more time :)

*I had the same issue with Taylor (& still do sometimes), but I used Lisa Whelchel’s idea from her book – every time I walked into her room & found clothes on the floor I got to pick her outfit for the next day.  And it wasn’t always super fashionable.  :)  Other idea’s include making a reward chart & once they meet their goal buy them a new outfit (girls LOVE this one!!!) or get a trash bag & confiscate any clothes on the floor – making them either earn it back (ie. by not leaving clothes in the floor for a set amount of time) or by giving it away.  Let me tell you, had I of been able to do this it probably would have only taken once, but Taylor being the only girl, I just couldn’t part with some of her outfits & it would be my luck that she would leave one of my favorites in the floor.  

Fishies

Can you guess what the boys are looking at in our aquarium? 

. . . 4 years ago Big Daddy built an addition onto this old house which we made our living room.  It is the one room I have very little control over.  Our living room is home to a huge elk head, several deer heads, a bobcat, & a 300 gallon aquarium.  We’ve kept all kinds of fresh water fish in here.  Usually whatever big catch the boys get calls this bad boy its new home.  We have never, in 4 years, had the pleasure of seeing a fish have babies . . . Until NOW!!!!

This fish wasn’t eating & was growing rather “skinny” as Big Daddy described.  He assumed she was sick, until he got a close look inside her mouth!  Where he found THOUSANDS of babies swimming around.  This particular breed (I can’t remember the name & Tyler is sleeping & Big D is already gone to work), they mouth brood.  They carry their eggs in their mouth until the babies hatch & are big enough to swim out.  It is the coolest thing ever!  As we watched this mother of thousands of babies protect them I suddenly felt a little sigh of relief with just 6 to protect.  :)  It was such a blessing to be able to see God’s hand in this experience.  She had thousands of babies & if just one swam out she was doing everything to get it back – 1 out of a couple thousand.   

Typically, you would add moss to a tank & separate the mother & babies from the rest of the tank, but that was nearly impossible for us to do in a 300 gal tank.  We added moss to the area she was claiming as hers, & despite her protective motherly instincts her babies all eventually swam out & were eaten by the bigger fish.  I almost cried every time I witnessed this.  So sad.  Yes, I totally used this as an example to my kids!! “See, see what happens when mommy tries to protect you & you leave my protection?  Those babies were safe with their mama, but they wanted out.  They didn’t know or understand that she was just trying to protect them from the outside world they were so eager to be apart of, that was full of bigger fish waiting to devour them.  See, sometimes mama’s do know better.  Next time you better trust mommy or you’ll be eaten by bigger fish!”  

   

Sadly, all but 5 survived.  They are now living in a smaller tank in my bedroom. 

They are the cutest little fishies!!!

God is amazing!!!!

CC: The Umbrella of Authority

During the first week of our Creative Corrections Bible Study the author, Lisa Whelchel offers a great parent-child analogy as she compares our relationship with our children to the protection of an umbrella.  For so long I have struggled with trying to get my kids to “get it.”  It totally baffles me when I discipline Taylor & the first thing out of her mouth is “I don’t understand.”  For some reason I used to think it was imperative for my kids to understand why I say no or why they are in trouble for rolling their eyes, etc.  I had this fabulous day dream of having children that misbehave, are explained the consequences, are immediately repentful & ready for the consequence.  Okay, & even still “happy”.  Yes, I realize this is a complete illusion.  It was extremely relieving to realize other people’s kids don’t “get it” sometimes either.  I love Lisa’s explanation,

“God designed us to be an umbrella of protection for your own safety.  If you choose to disobey & walk out from under our covering, you’ll have to deal with the harsh elements of this world without our protection . . . You might think our choice is wrong, but it is still safer to obey us and remain under our umbrella than to be vulnerable to dangers & lies of the world.  God will deal with us if our choices are bad.”

She also explains that children truly want discipline & rules.  They don’t test the boundaries hoping to find the weak spot – they want to make sure they are safe & can be a kid.  Again, this comes back to trust.  When our kids are being overly challenging or even down right rebellious, they are just being kids – wondering if we can really handle it & protect them.  Taylor struggles with this not because she doesn’t “get it” but because she is wondering if we will really be parents.  At our house Taylor is expected to be the child & in such is treated as one; however, this role swaps the minute her weekend visits with her mom begin.  Taylor’s mom is very nurturing & takes good care of Taylor, but she struggles with remaining in charge & often Taylor becomes the mom & calls the shots.  You can only imagine the power struggles that occur when she comes back home ;)  No one likes the thought of being “under” someone  & the same is true with children – but Lisa points out in her book that our children being “under” our authority is more like being under our protection.

It has taken quite awhile to reestablish trust with Taylor & there are occasional setbacks, but for the most part she is truly allowing us to be the parents & is accepting her role as the child.  I still think it is important for my kids to understand the why’s as often as possible, but I also know that it is my job to protect them & just like when my Father is trying to protect me – I don’t always get it & I’m really not happy about it when discipline is involved either.  I know He loves me though & as long as my kids “get that” I think it will all be okay. m

“Let every person be subject to the governing authorities.

For there is no authority except from God,

& those that exist have been instituted by God.”

Romans 13:1

CC: Struggling

   

Last week I shared that the child we struggled with the most was our child that battled with trust.  Ironically, it is also the same child that continually fights her own demons to be able to be honest & not tell lies or be deceptive. 

I have really been focusing on the importance of complete obedience from ALL my children.  Thankfully, they go in cycles & aren’t all totally rebellious at the same times.  It is important for our children to obey us & things our way; just as it is important for us to obey God & do things His way.  I have recently been struggling with this discipline primarily with Taylor & the laundry & Trevor & food.  I have asked Taylor to fold the laundry a certain way & she refuses to comply.  Whether it is true defiance or simply forgetfulness is irrelevant.  It isn’t really about the laundry, it is about the lack of respect that her actions are saying in her “my way” attitude.  In the same way, I have a similar problem with Trevor – they boy loves food!  And he won’t stay out of the pantry.  We are constantly finding cereal spread across the floor & spilled milk all over.  He sneaks into the bread & chips bags & doesn’t close them – causing the entire bag to ruin.  I have all but stood on my head for these two & yet they still refuse to obey me completely. 

These are just small examples of problems I am dealing with in the area of true obedience with a couple of my children.  Praise God it is just laundry & food – although majorly annoying & disrespectful, my battles were much greater not too long ago.  The last two years with Taylor were extremely difficult for our entire family.  Thankfully, we seem to be on the downhill of that journey now, but the emotions are still very fresh.  I remember being in the trenches of that time in our lives & continually asking God to show me what it was He was trying to teach me through the circumstances.  You see, it was almost as much about me learning about myself as it was about our daughter & her issues.  Taylor, without any doubt, has been our most challenging, trying child, but she has also made Tim & I both, better parents.  If you are experiencing struggles with one of your children (or anything in life for that matter), I urge you to stop right now & surrender to God.  I promise He will be faithful to you.  You must trust that He is working in this situation to achieve His perfect will. 

Sometimes God allows us to experience struggles to grab our attention & refocus us back on Him.  Other times as Lisa points out, “He is pruning, shaping, correcting, strengthening, or testing us . . . Sometimes God asks us to do something but we are scared or uncertain about whether He will be there to help us through it.”  This summer Taylor hinted at the possibility of her returning home to homeschool.  In all honesty, I was scared to death.  Part of me felt a little self-satisfaction in knowing “I was right.”  But for the most part I was very apprehensive – after all, it hasn’t been that long since we were a total mess.  Although, the majority of the pieces have been put together, it is still a very vulnerable situation at any given moment.  We have come along way & it is far more important for me to be her (step)mother than her teacher.  Not to mention that there are also 4 other children that are at home & affected by her possible return to homeschooling.  Plus, there was my marriage & sanity to account for!!  I really didn’t understand it.  I battled with the idea of “Public School” in the beginning & had just truly become okay with our situation.  Was God asking me to bring her home now?  As I later learned, it wasn’t about homeschooling Taylor – it was all about me being willing to if that was what God was calling me to do. 

What troubles you?  Are you struggling with a child or situation?  Are you to do something God is asking you to do?

CC: The Ultimate Disciplinarian

 

 

God perfectly balances the tasks of loving His children unconditionally and teaching them the consequences of sin.  During this part of our Creative Corrections study, I loved how Lisa argues,

“Many of today’s ‘experts’ argue that discipline is controlling & it prevents kids from fully expressing themselves as individuals.  To that I say, ‘Hallelujah!’  -I’ve seen my child fully expressing himself, & it’s NOT a pretty sight!”

When Lisa suggested that TRUST is the heart of obedience, I had a huge epiphany.  Looking back at our most difficult times when we were struggling with Taylor, I suddenly realized the disobedience was lacking because there was no trust.  Taylor had experienced a sense of abandonment from her mom when she came to live with us & none of us realized it.  Regardless of the fact that she was in a more stable environment, she still lost a sense of trust somewhere along the way.  Circumstances following her move with us definitely contributed to the lack of trust as well.  We had to slowly build our trust with Taylor & convince her that we loved her unconditionally.  She had to trust us that when we required her to do something or set boundaries she didn’t understand & she disobeyed them we were disciplining her out of love.  Instantly, the song, “Trust & Obey” comes to mind.  <3

It was very difficult for me to realize that love doesn’t mean never making our children unhappy.  I had this false idea that my child’s happiness was dependent upon my parenting.  When she was unhappy, I felt like I was failing.  In reality, sometimes when our children are unhappy it merely because we are doing what is best for them – even when that requires unpleasant consequences. 

CC: The Ultimate Parent

*For the past 5 weeks I have been leading a Creative Corrections Bible Study with a group of wonderful women from our homeschool co-op that I am lucky enough to call friends.  In the upcoming weeks I will be sharing the lesson’s I have learned in finding “Creative Corrections” for my Outlaws (kids). 

**Click HERE to read my first post of this series, “Creative Corrections: Introduction”

During the first week of the Creative Corrections Bible Study Lisa urges parents to establish the Bible as the FINAL word in their home.  This sounds so easy, but if you are a control freak like me, it may be a little challenging to implement.  Don’t get me wrong, we all want our kids to learn to obey God & use the Bible as their standard & not the world.  But in the actual day-to-day parenting tasks, it isn’t always easy for me to do.  I can’t tell you how many times I have said yelled, “Because I said so!!!”   But it isn’t really because “I” said so, it is because God said so – I just forget to mention that part in the heat of the moment sometimes.  I love Lisa’s quote to her kids,

“Honey, I didn’t make up these rules.  God did & He says this makes life work.  Because I believe Him & I love you & want you to be successful, I am going to enforce what He says in our home.” 

Yeah.  Argue with that! 

Lisa also reminds us, as parents, we are modeling God to our children.  Mirror, Mirror, on the wall …  What would you like to see when you look at your reflection?  As for me, I love the image of my kids waking to find me spending alone time with God.  I have really been working on this & this week my heart jumped for joy when Trevor said, “Mommy, when you are done with your Bible study . . .”  Instead of, “ . . . when you are done with the computer . . .”   I want my children to see me as a Godly mama/wife/friend/woman.  Our goals as mothers is to be a clear reflection of God.  How are you reflecting God to your children? 

This reminds me of a song by a good friend of mine, Lisa Lovejoy & her sister (2 Mom’s & Loving It),

“Mirror of Your Heart”

Her chubby hands somehow they look like mine,

Those big blue eyes are like her dad’s.

That pudgy nose is it mine or his?

How can one person look like two?

This miracle sent from God above

She’s so much more than I dreamed of.

She looks like us, does what we do,

Make our hearts look just like You.

A reflection of you heart that’s the most important part.

Now how they look, How tall they stand

As they grow and learn each day guide them gently to Your way

To be a mirror of Your heart.

 

I don’t know about you, but at times the fact that I am responsible for reflecting an image of God to my kids is totally overwhelming.  But like Lisa points out, “we are models to our children whether we like it or not.”   Besides, it is a huge comfort to know that God is the PERFECT PARENT & his children still disobey!  

In order for us to give an image of God to our kids, we must keep our focus on Him!  Our motives in parenting cannot be about us, but have to be established on His word.  I have realized that much of my parenting is due to my own peace & quiet.  My desire to have well-behaved kids is not for some higher godly purpose, but to make my life simpler.  As a result, I am often quick to discipline them (sometimes in anger) when my comfort zone is intruded on.  I don’t always consider how I’m modeling God to them. 

During the first week of our study we read Mark 7:20-23 – Jesus explains that defilement comes from an impure heart, not the violation of external rules.  This was very convicting for me because I often get caught up in the “rules” & I become a tyrant.  I have to be reminded that not everything needs a consequence.  Sometimes, LIFE will provide a big enough consequence.  I truly believe that natural consequences can teach the biggest lessons.  Jesus is more concerned with our children’s hearts than he is about how well-behaved they are.

My ultimate goal is not to have well-behaved kids.  It is to have God-loving & God-fearing children.  I have really had to reevaluate my parenting motives.  Lisa explains, “If we parent with wrong motives, we will ultimately fall apart & loose it.”  If you are like me & “loose it” more often than you’d like to admit – then we need to realize it is a tell-tell sign that our motives might not be pure.

Creative Corrections: Introduction

For the past 5 weeks I have been leading a Creative Corrections Bible Study with a group of wonderful women from our homeschool co-op that I am lucky enough to call friends.  It has been difficult to juggle this study, construction in around our house, a growing photography business, being a wife & mommy, & blogging.  I intended to share my notes on my blog throughout the study, but I’m just now getting around to it :)

I have read A LOT of parenting books!  I have enjoyed many of them & learned a few things from several, but Lisa Whelchel’s book, Creative Corrections, is my all time favorite.  Perhaps it is because she is not only a devout Christian, but also a homeschool mom who can relate to having to correct children all.day.long.  She even has her own Tucker!   If there is one word that I could use to describe myself right now it would be IMPERFECT.  Totally an IMPERFECT mess!  So, when I read this in the introduction, I knew God was at work:

“I did not write the Creative Corrections trade book or this subsequent Bible study from a point of view that I’m perfect as much as from a perspective of imperfection.  I understand the frustration of saying the same things over & over again, wondering if my kids are ever going to “get it.”  I’ve experienced disappointment when I’ve “lost it” in anger, and I’ve enjoyed the astonishment of realizing that amazingly God can and will use me to shape my precious children into His image.”

Her introduction also gives a wonderful glimpse of the study’s goal:

“ . . . we’ll discover that creative alternatives not only serve as effective ways to correct our children but also allow us to teach them in the process….what God is wanting to teach us, as well as what He wants us to teach our children.”

Whether you have good kids, bad kids, or outlaws, I highly recommend adding this book  toolbox to your personal library.  Grab your favorite highlighter while you’re at it!

During our first meeting we each shared something about ourselves that had nothing to do with our children.  Although our group ranges from mothers with very young children to some with a few grown children, & from mother of many (6+) to mothers with just a couple kids, this activity was surprisingly difficult for us.  What is something about you that has NOTHING to do with your kids?  This is my blog, so if you know me or read it often you know I love to scrapbook, take as many pictures as I can, & blog about all of it & some.

Once we accomplished finding a little of our own identity, we add the kids to the mix.  We  color coded our kids.  Here are my kids “in color”:

 Tyler

“Mommy’s boy”

-My first born, most like me, sweet, caring, “Big Brother”, starting to identify more with daddy, funny, very hard worker!

Tucker

- My nature boy, loving, gorgeous, stubborn, loves to draw, mischievous & sneaky, very silly.

 

TrEvOr

-My sweetest, but meanest, “HOT” tempered, CrAzY, very smart, cute as a bug, sweet little laugh, most like daddy.

 

truman

“The Baby”

- So sweet & a total snuggler, very demanding, loves to be a brother, just not sure about this boy yet . . .

 

Taylor

“Daddy’s Girl”

-Care-taker, struggles the most, loving, needy, miss attitude, deceiving, ditzy, helpful, “little mama”.

 

Tiya

-Strong, distant, athletic, misunderstood, “all about me” attitude, funny, daring

 

Talon

 

 

What would you “color” your children?

Finally, we shared an embarrassing moment our children blessed us with.  I shared a Walmart story.  I took all the kids (as usual) grocery shopping & we had just reached the final stretch of the trip:  The Checkout Line!!  As we get behind a middle-aged couple they remark at “how full my hands are.”  (GRRR!!)  With a big smile on my face, I kindly assure them of how full my heart is as well.  I proceed to assure them of how good my kids are only to turn & find Tucker & Trevor in a drop-dead drag-out boxing match.  I don’t mean a few swats at each other.  I mean, fists are swing, they are flying back into the shelves & knocking things down!  It is seriously a UFC match in the middle of the Walmart Checkout line.  Ohmygoodness!  I was so embarrassed. 

Have your kids embarrassed you lately?

Creative Corrections

  About a year ago on some blog I came across a parenting book, Creative Correction, I jotted it down on a sticky note that stuck to my computer until a couple of weeks ago when I threw it out while cleaning.  Then low & behold, I came across it again while surfing Confessions of a Homeschooler’s blog.  After reading a few of her ideas, I decided to order it.  I HAVE NOT PUT IT DOWN SINCE!!  And I refer to it several times a day!  Some of my favorite suggestions she offers in her book are:

• Putting a blind-fold over your child for 30 minutes when they roll their eyes or give you that look. 
• Picking out your child’s outfit for them if they leave their clothes in the floor.
• Having a problem getting your child to turn their light off?  Take the light-bulb out.
• Are your boys as rowdy & loud as mine?  Have them go outside & run laps to get some of that energy out.

This book is by far, the BEST parenting book I have EVER read.  After beginning to read this book my mind set changed immediately.  It will seriously revolutionize the way you discipline & react to your kids.  I have found myself giggling like a school girl at times I would typically be screaming like a lunatic.  I am so excited to implement & test out her creative corrections.  The amazing most gratifying feature of this book is that it is a GODLY guide.  Not only do the punishments fit the crimes, but they are all inspired by scripture.  As a homeschool mom & full-time step-mom, it is easy to get discouraged with the task of correcting/disciplining my children ALL DAY LONG.  I love staying home with them.  I love them.  It is because I love them that I discipline them, but it can be totally exhausting & one of those days, can just suck the life out of me.  But after reading this book, I’ve been quite creative in my punishments lately:

After shopping for Spring/Summer clothes for Daddy’s girl I decided to make a little bargain with her – every week she goes without leaving her clothes in the floor she gets to get a new outfit out of the bag.

Now that I am almost finished reading this book, I am searching high & low for more of Lisa Whelchel’s books.  Barnes & Noble offers a free ebook sample of her book, Taking Care of the ME in Mommy.  It is another one that you will not want to put down!  And I just received her homeschooling book in the mail – yes, she homeschools her three children!

So, do you have any creative corrections you’d like to share?  If so, leave a comment!