Our "Talk"

So after the last week we had, you can imagine my thought process when Taylor tells me a boy "took her to the moon," at church camp! Yes, my heart dropped -- to the floor & I think it stopped beating for a minute. I quickly regrouped & asked "WHAT??? What does 'going to the moon' mean these days?!?" Apparently it was just a walk on a hill where the moon was close by. WHEW!

However innocent this may have been it made Tim & I realize we needed to have a "talk" with Taylor. We love the seminars Little Bear Wheeler has given on courtship & we agree 100% with courting instead of dating. Now it was time to explain this philosophy to Taylor at a 10 year old level.

So, we start by asking Taylor why she isn't allowed to have a boyfriend. She says, "because daddy said so!" (GREAT ANSWER - lol) Then we asked her what "having a boyfriend" meant to her. She told us she didn't know. This is where the explanation began . . . "Taylor, this is one HUGE reason you aren't allowed, b/c you are too young to understand & have those kinds of responsibilities. I want you to read the Bible to us & tell us what God says about this." She began reading Genesis 2:15 "The Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it." This verse established with her that Adam was a MAN (not a boy), he was able to work & take care of his responsibilities. Then we read Genesis 2:20b- ". . . But for Adam no suitable helper was found . . . (vs. 24) For this reason man will leave his father & mother & be united to his wife, & they will become one flesh." These next verses we used to show Taylor what God's plan for woman is in his design. God intends for us to be helpers to our husbands. This does not happen until the man is ready & able to leave his parents & take you as his helper. It is pointless to have a "BOYfriend" b/c the whole worldly designed "going out, break up" only opens our hearts, gives apart of it away, then leaves a small whole that cannot be replaced. We don't want Taylor (at 10 especially) to become accustom to giving her heart away & joining the routine of breaking up not being a big deal. We feel that this habit only makes a divorce in marriage seem acceptable. Tim explained to Taylor that when she is older & a young man wants to date her, he is expected to first ask her daddy. Then daddy spends some time with the young man & decides if he thinks he is a young man that is acceptable for his daughter. At that point Tim will ask Taylor, "Billy Bob has asked me if it would be alright for him to get to know you better, would you like to get to know him better?" This is the time he will spend time with our family. We explained to Taylor that when she is old enough & this time comes it is not just her decision to make -- she is bringing this young man into our family. Just like when I got married I became part of daddy's family -- that is why I call grandma "mom" sometimes. We asked her how she would like it if we brought another child into our house without seeking her opinion & she just really didn't like this child . . . well, it is the same consideration when you decide to bring a young man into our family. It is important that we all like him. Taylor was so sweet & really understood & accepted the points we were trying to make to her. We did tell her that this time in her life is for her to be friends with boys (and girls obviously) & to be looking for qualities that she likes in them (not necessarily the boy). She was absolutely adorable when we told her this. She said, "Oh, I already know . . . I want someone that is good with my children, is funny, makes me laugh, treats me good, loves God, & has a family devotion with his family every night! How does that sound?" She made us so proud.

I know in today's time this sounds old fashioned, but it is not our desire to raise worldly children, our goal is to raise GODLY children.