“Do we have to?”
As homeschool mom’s our dream is to have children who love to read. We introduce letters & sounds, begin phonics, start beginning readers, & soon our children are reading Moby Dick . . . We have visions of our children begging for more, “just one more chapter!”
So what happens when our dreams are NOT reality? How do we handle it when we have a struggling reader? When we’ve mastered letters & sounds, when we’ve exhausted ourselves in phonics & have our own personal library of beginning readers, yet our child still seems to struggle?
This weekend I went to a homeschool workshop, “How To Teach Your Child to Read” by Lodestar ministries. I’ll be totally honest, I was at my wits end. My sweet math wiz, Momma’s boy just isn’t progressing with leaps & bounds in his reading. He is struggling. This is a little difficult for me to admit, as I tend to internalize the reality & assume blame. Have I done my child injustice?
I began phonics with Tyler when he was starting kindergarten. I knew he wasn’t ready, but I felt pressured by family members & his “people” to keep up with the status quo. After all, in public school the children were learning to read. After several failed attempts at numerous phonics curriculums & finally powering through with Hooked On Phonics it seemed he was ready to begin reading. I’ve heard so many people say, “just give them good books & it’ll happen.” I surrounded him in wonderful literature on varying levels, but to no avail. He was struggling.
Until this year, I told myself, “He’s a boy, he is math orientated – it’ll click …” But as we began his 3rd grade year, I still wasn’t seeing him taking off. He was truly trying, but growing increasingly frustrated. And honestly, so was I. We had spent years on phonics at this point. He knew his blends, he mastered his sight words, but he just wasn’t piecing together the entire process. So much of his work comes easy to him, that he expected the same with reading. Therefore he rushes through his reading quickly guessing & relying much on sight & little on applying his phonics studies. He continued to flip b & d and often confused “what” for “that” or “when for then.”
What now? My goal is not to have the best reader or be better than public schools. I am okay with the fact that he was considered “behind” in comparison to some public school children. Don’t think for one minute that there aren’t struggling readers in public school as well. It just seems to be more accepted there than it is with homeschool children. After all, in public school it is just a struggling reader. In homeschooled children homeschooling is to blame. More than anything I want to lead my son into the heart of reading. I wanted him to love reading. I want to seem him take that plunge into reading independently & loving it! How do I do this when reading is a struggle?
I began to pray! I asked a retired teacher that attends our church to tutor Tyler & then I came across the “How To Teach Your Child to Read” workshop. homeschool mom, Cheryl . Guess what? To my surprise I left the seminar with some fantastic ideas to implement, but more than anything I returned home reassured & relieved. Cheryl shared principles, processes and techniques that she has gathered, explored, and tried over the years; drawn from so many sources, people, books, and years of experience. Her theory: “Better late than early!” She shared research with us that indicated that children (*boys especially) aren’t developmentally ready for reading until they are between 7-9 years old. Much of the groundwork & enrichment activities that she shared I AM DOING!! Whew! What a relief. Did you know that reading should NOT be emotional work? If it is, your child isn’t ready. And guess what else? It’s OK. Better late than early. Cheryl explained the importance of “crossover” development & explained the importance of delaying reading mastery until your child is ready. Research shows that reading outloud can be a difficult process that requires a high level of crossover processing. Sometimes, this area needs to be strengthened until your child is ready to emerge to the next level of independent reading. Sometimes boys aren’t ready for this step until after 10 years old. Delayed reading does not hurt your child – just your ego.
Here is a peak at some of my notes I took this afternoon:
- Prepare: LET THEM PLAY! Free play is very important & the learning curve sky-rockets when you engage WITH your child while they are playing.
- Electronics & toys with personalities (Barbie, Dora, Power Rangers) will NOT increase your child’s reading readiness skills.
- Singing & rhyming are great tools = Mother Goose
- Puzzles, blocks, legos are great tools for developing/strengthening “crossover” skills
- I-Spy games (with adjectives)
- Don’t make preschoolers “BE STILL” while you are reading outloud – enjoy being together!
- Make learning together FUN!
- Story sequencing
- Let your child be the teacher
- Ask good questions – Do NOT give the answer – lead your child into discovering the answer himself
- Read books with patterns & repetition
- Don’t correct reading mistake – get “no” out of your mind – allow them to self-correct
- There is such a thing as too much too soon
- If reading is emotionally taxing – STOP!!
Cheryl’s workshop was just what I need to put my goals & expectations back in order. This week, as we read together, I’m going to relax & not worry what “level” Tyler is reading. Instead we are going to focus on building his confidence, strengthening his skills, & will do a lot of re-reading of good books. Most of all we are going to ENJOY reading!
